My sponsor and members from my English-speaking home group suggested to me to list the things I am grateful for in my SA sobriety. They probably couldn't bear my complaining any longer, which might be why they suggested it—in an intention to shut me up a bit.
Before coming into SA, I didn’t believe that lust was a big deal for me. I had masturbated all my life, sometimes using pornography. When my addiction was in full swing, I was acting out with other men four to six times a month. I was living what I thought was a successful double life—on one hand a successful educator, father, husband, and church leader, and on the other a committed sex addict.
I love slogans. For my addled brain with the memory of a goldfish, they are pithy, easy to remember and when I receive the willingness, actionable. There are so many that readily come to mind, such as “One Day At A Time,” “Good Orderly Direction,” “Let Go and Let God,” and “Go Easy On Yourself.”
I have a fond history with the slogans—you might say that they have saved my life. In early AA recovery, my home group was “old school,” no sharing in meetings until you had 1 year of sobriety. (We could ask questions.)
Reading “What makes meetings strong?“ in Essay May 2021 got me thinking. For me strong meetings are welcoming places, offering full participation to all members; they provide opportunities for service and they encourage fellowship after meetings.
These past few months, we’ve been able to welcome two new members from Iraq. Although I wasn’t involved in carrying the message to them, I’m part of their solution.
I practice no organized religion, but I may refer to specific religious traditions here because of their being examples related to my journey. In November 1985 I stopped acting out by means of chemical castration. This was because of life-threatening behaviors that were occurring as a part of my acting out. There was no emotional or spiritual treatment combined with it.
A few weeks ago, I heard someone from my faith tradition tell a story that really resonated with me, and that I have thought about every day since. I shared it at a meeting and it appeared to touch others as well. Therefore, I am very happy to share it with you.
I have a recovery buddy who recently adopted a dog. Having been without a dog for several months, he was so excited when he was finally able to bring “Leroy Brown” home with him. That excitement was quickly joined by frustration.
I’m Nicholas and I’m a sexaholic. I acted out with pornography, masturbation, prostitution, adultery, promiscuity, sexualizing men, women, children, animals and objects, voyeurism and exhibitionism, romantic fantasy, sexual intrigue, and emotional affairs. And by the grace of God and the program of Sexaholics Anonymous, I haven’t had to do any of that stuff for over 27 years and for that I am incredibly grateful.
