A Woman Survivor Finds Hope in SA
My loving Father, How did I “come to believe” that You could restore me to sanity? Actually, You know that I’ve known that for a long time. I came to believe that You wanted my healing even more than I did. It was part of the faith I was taught, but it was hidden until it became real to me in a moment of insight years ago; You know how it happened.
One recovery tool that I’ve used for many years is what we used to call “the Dailies.” Years ago, it would involve a phone call, sharing with each other our Gratitudes, Fears, Things to Practice, and Things to Avoid. With the advent of e-mail, I started sending mine to one or two partners first thing in the morning, and I would look for their answers, generally before work.
This sponsor/friend thing has been emotional for both of us. I have so much life stuff going on that I haven’t been dealing with my feelings around our relationship. Part of me doesn’t know how. I’ve never been in this situation before. To be a sponsor is one thing, it’s more cut and dried. A friend is another thing completely; it takes the “conditions” out.
In Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill W. and Dr. Bob speak of their need to seek out other alcoholics or they could not stay sober. This need was not based on a desire to fix other drunks, but rather to share with others their truths regarding alcohol in their lives, and their need for a relationship with God, the One who could help them live without alcohol.
After years in a dark place, God has given me the gift of recovery. One of the fruits has been the blossoming of my relationship with my son. It has been my privilege to be with him in his recovery.
I have been an SA member for 14 years. I came to my local area SA in its infancy. I have served in Intergroup, and, with the help of some dedicated members, helped to start three groups in my area.
I came into SA hoping it would save my marriage. I thought it was going well, but my wife said she needed some space, that my just being in the house was a constant reminder, and that our children didn’t see that I was having any consequences for my misbehavior.
I grew up as an only child in what I believed to be a normal family. To this day I question what “normal” is. Not many kids lived on my street; it was mostly older people—until my friend “Ron” moved in.
Lord God, I pray for all the fellows in SA; For everyone who gathers and begins with a prayer for serenity,
I have always been active in my chosen religion since my baptism at the age of 18, even though I was an active sexaholic of varying degrees before and throughout my 35-plus years of church membership. For a while I even served as a bishop, an unpaid clergyman equivalent to a pastor in other churches. All that changed a little over 27 months ago, when I was excommunicated from the church as a result of my addiction.
