Discussion Topic
Are you experiencing freedom from the slavery of “having to have sex”? Have you found progressive victory over lust and an ongoing spiritual recovery? Have you become rigorously honest?
Are you experiencing freedom from the slavery of “having to have sex”? Have you found progressive victory over lust and an ongoing spiritual recovery? Have you become rigorously honest?
In the June issue, read about the tools and tricks fellows from around the world practice while traveling during the holidays.
My name is Raphael. I'm a grateful, recovering sexaholic. I've been sober by the grace of G-d and the help of all of you in this program of SA since April 7th, 2019.
I came to SA in 2008. Up until that point, my life had been a succession of compulsive masturbation, pornography, voyeurism, exhibitionism, and countless stealthy contacts or one-night-stands with other men. The only experience of connection was a 20+ year abusive relationship with an alcoholic man.
Hi everyone, my name is Pat and I am a sexaholic. I am very grateful today for my ongoing recovery from lust. It’s been a long haul. I came into the program in a town in the mid-north island of New Zealand in November of 2016 after becoming increasingly aware that I was losing control and lust was taking over my life. During an all-night binge on a Saturday with alcohol fuelling my lust, I got online and was chatting to women. I wanted to act out so badly but was so drunk I couldn’t figure out how to get to meet someone. A blessing in disguise.
On March 21, 2011, just 48 hours before I came into this fellowship, I was sober two weeks. On that particular day I was feeling supremely confident that I would never give in to my addiction again. Only problem was, I had had that supreme confidence a thousand times before over almost half a century.
I did not quit, I surrendered. I began my journey in this program when a friend from Al-Anon told me I was a sexaholic. To prove her wrong, I agreed to go to six SA meetings. During those six meetings I slowly came to admit that I was a sexaholic. At the beginning I made no eye contact with other members and I did not share. There were six other SA women at my first home group meeting. We went to two meetings a week as a group, which helped me to connect with the program and then I started to share.
At first I thought that the term, “sobriety,” didn’t fit with what I thought a sexaholic was because I had no experience with alcoholism. But when I came into these rooms eight years ago I learned that sobriety was difficult to obtain because it was about my state of mind and what I might do with it if I didn’t get spiritually fit.
My life in recovery is full of miracles today—the biggest of them is that I am recovering from this disease, this enslavement to lust, for which there is no cure. And another huge miracle is that I am grateful today; I used to be never grateful.
Harvey A. raised a very important issue concerning our definition of sobriety (ESSAY, 2002, Issue Three). I believe that we all owe him a debt of gratitude for initiating this discussion and I am happy for the opportunity to participate.