This is one of the program slogans that stuck in my mind after I attended my first SA virtual meeting here in the Philippines. I was afraid and hesitant to attend an SA meeting because I was in denial and doubtful that I am a sex addict, but still forced myself to join that meeting as I was afraid to lose my wife and kids
My sponsor and members from my English-speaking home group suggested to me to list the things I am grateful for in my SA sobriety. They probably couldn't bear my complaining any longer, which might be why they suggested it—in an intention to shut me up a bit.
Before coming into SA, I didn’t believe that lust was a big deal for me. I had masturbated all my life, sometimes using pornography. When my addiction was in full swing, I was acting out with other men four to six times a month. I was living what I thought was a successful double life—on one hand a successful educator, father, husband, and church leader, and on the other a committed sex addict.
I love slogans. For my addled brain with the memory of a goldfish, they are pithy, easy to remember and when I receive the willingness, actionable. There are so many that readily come to mind, such as “One Day At A Time,” “Good Orderly Direction,” “Let Go and Let God,” and “Go Easy On Yourself.”
I have a fond history with the slogans—you might say that they have saved my life. In early AA recovery, my home group was “old school,” no sharing in meetings until you had 1 year of sobriety. (We could ask questions.)
I was recently asked to write an article for the Essay on Emotional Sobriety. At first my reaction was to say “No.” I wanted to say No because I felt, deep down, that most people in SA have difficulty reaching Emotional Sobriety since they can barely reach “lust sobriety.”
A sexaholic’s life can be very difficult and stressful, especially when a full scale war is going on in my country. It’s so hard to keep sexually and emotionally sober. But it’s possible. So I created a few simple rules for myself, based on 12 step program spiritual principles.
I am Samar G. from Egypt. I am a sexaholic. My active addiction has a long history. I tried so many things in my life. My suffering started when I was young. I was abused by one of my relatives.
27 years ago I walked into a room full of men … what did I expect? I thought I would see people that looked dirty and secretive. Thankfully my expectations were completely wrong. I saw a room full of ordinary men just like I might see at work or out with friends.
Remembering my life in the lust world, I still feel terror and despair—the feelings which I had been living with everyday—before coming to the program. For many years, being addicted to compulsive sexual behaviors and thoughts was the biggest and worst problem in my life.
