The working paper has hit the nail on the head. Thank you for naming the problem. When I first came into SA, I came into a very strong group. The group was my sponsor as there were no women sponsors available in SA. I knew I could stay sober going to this group every week. I came into the fellowship in March 1989. I had wanted SA sobriety for a long time before I knew that there was a group with this sobriety.
Regarding the article in the December 1994 Essay on raising/creating the Essay consciousness and ideas for offsetting the cost of Essay, in our group conscience, here are thoughts and ideas which came up:
I heartily support your line “…the fact remains that we could make a significant spiritual breakthrough were we to submit to the direction [of a sponsor] and carry it out without questioning.” That’s the key. Until I started doing that (and I only did that because I was desperate, and had begun to see the point) my self-will had me still in its grip. And it’s my self-will that leads me inevitably back to acting out, in some new guise or other.
Sharing was, for many of us, the first gift of the program that we really felt. The meeting provided an island of safety where we felt we could open our darkest secrets to an understanding group of friends. In time, however, we have come to learn that our sharing is an integral part of our progressive victory over lust, both as individuals and as a group.
I was talking to another SA member recently about healthy marriages and how to have one, and he suggested that I propose a “corner” in the Essay for members to share what is working for them in that area. I think we spend too much time talking about acting-out behavior and not enough about having healthy relationships. If we truly have surrendered lust, then what better do we have to do with our time than learn how to be more intimate with our spouses and/or friends?
The meeting on chronic slipping was completely without resentment! (at least, no resentment about the theme…). Some people identified as chronic slippers. Some asked for a sponsor.
The following is taken from the new member orientation format of the Tucson, Arizona SA group:
[The following ideas resulted from a group inventory done on the problem of continued slipping. These ideas are put forward simply to stimulate discussion and action. Please feed back from your experience.]
Facing the Slipper Syndrome 1. It is important to recognize that the real problem is lust, not sex, and thus acknowledge that the problem is spiritual in nature.
[The following suggested guidelines are used by SA members returning calls to inquirers in a large U.S. metropolitan area. These guidelines reflect over six years’ experience in dealing with SA calls in this area. Your comments and/or experience is invited. Does your intergroup support a hot-line? How do you deal with inquirers? Reprinting these guidelines here does not constitute endorsement by the Essay or the Central Office.]
