In active addiction, my slogan was “Being alone in heaven is harder than being with a girl in hell.” In early childhood, I could not imagine a world without girls. I used to be ridiculed for playing with girls instead of boys. Who cared, as far as I was concerned; I enjoyed playing innocently with girls
A few days ago one of my dearest friends came up to me with good news. “I have a boyfriend!” she said. I was so happy for her. She really deserves it. I was always asking myself why someone as beautiful, kind and smart as she is wasn’t in a relationship. I even thought that maybe she had some kind of problem, like my sexaholism. Then it struck me that now I was (and still I am) the only single girl amongst my various groups of friends.
Loneliness, rejection, and fear have acted as a soundtrack in my head for as long as I can remember. They form rhythm and melodies filled with dissonance. Each track is made complete with a verse, chorus, and bridge:
Laughing is part of recovery! Here is one of my favorite AA jokes:
I have always worked a simple program because that is the only way I'm able to do it. I wasn't able to write my inventory like the AA Big Book recommends with the columns system. But on page 109 in the SA White Book the directions were simple which allowed me to do my inventories.
This morning in the hybrid Manchester, US “Not a Glum Lot meeting,” we read the first story “I’m a Sexaholic” from Member Stories 2007. The text from The Real Connection today was entitled “Hidden Desires” and talked about riding a motorcycle too close to the edge of the Grand Canyon.
My job is to take care of a large property with an orchard, a garden, and a house. A few weeks ago, I found myself in a completely new situation I have never been in before.
Read how two Dutch fellows have fellowship and fun in making recovery music, and share their joy with others.
When I returned from a local SA convention yesterday, I felt reasonably happy, connected and peaceful—though not fully. The presence of one fellow had disturbed my serenity to such an extent that I had been struggling with obsessing about him and his behavior throughout the whole weekend.
My sponsor and members from my English-speaking home group suggested to me to list the things I am grateful for in my SA sobriety. They probably couldn't bear my complaining any longer, which might be why they suggested it—in an intention to shut me up a bit.
