Una respuesta sencilla a esta pregunta podría ser: "Estoy aquí porque tengo que estar". Pero eso no cuenta toda la historia. El dolor de tocar fondo una y otra vez fue suficiente para que entrara por la puerta, pero no suficiente para que me quedara.
Si tuviera que elegir una palabra para describir cómo me sentía la mayor parte de mi vida, elegiría "desconectada". Me costaba hacer amigos tanto en la guardería como en el colegio. Había muchas formas atractivas de escapar de la realidad: creando historias en mi cabeza, libros de aventuras y videojuegos.
Soy Mike y soy un adicto al sexo, sobrio desde el 7 de agosto de 2005. SA me ha dado mi segunda oportunidad en la vida y ha sido fundamental para mi recuperación, pero otras cosas también me han ayudado.
Why am I still in SA? A simple answer to this question could be, “I am here because I have to be,” but that doesn’t tell the whole story. The pain of repeatedly hitting bottom lines was enough to get me in the door, but never enough to keep me inside.
If I had to choose one word to describe how I felt for most of my life, I would choose "disconnected." I had a hard time making friends in both kindergarten and school. There were many engaging ways to escape reality—creating stories in my head, adventure books, and video games.
I’m Mike and I’m a sexaholic, sobriety date Aug 7, 2005. SA has given me my second chance at life and has been central to my recovery, but other things have helped too.
There was a time when I wondered why God brought me into this world. I always felt that my life was meaningless. I had such difficulty fitting in and belonging anywhere. My childhood was very difficult, full of traumas. I could never understand why I had to go through it all or what purpose all that pain served. Lust entered my life at age six when a family member sexually abused me.
“I swear, this is it. This is the final straw. The last time I’m giving in to this disgusting, awful habit. The last time I’m degrading myself and letting down the people I love. I’m done.” Those were the thoughts playing in my head as I pondered the weight of that in which I had just indulged. Shame and inferiority swept over me in waves, leaving me desperate for some glimpse of rescue.
I was just reading an article or two from ESSAY and I was moved to write about an experience that I had a few weeks ago. An experience and healing that would not have taken place without being a member of SA.
Before coming into SA, I didn’t believe that lust was a big deal for me. I had masturbated all my life, sometimes using pornography. When my addiction was in full swing, I was acting out with other men four to six times a month. I was living what I thought was a successful double life—on one hand a successful educator, father, husband, and church leader, and on the other a committed sex addict.
