Sexual lust is just one face of the multi-dimensional cube of lust. The word "lust" cannot be confined to a sexual aspect only, as lust is merely a strong urge that governs attitudes. I cannot deny that the concept of lust itself is complex, confusing, and perplexing. How can a limited human encompass what is considered larger and broader? Humans are three-dimensional beings living in a four-dimensional world, while lust is simply a "multi-dimensional" entity.
Those of us with a little experience in recovery know the various strategies of the “18-Wheeler” for dealing with a lust hit (SA 157). I would like to add a “Number Zero” to the list. I have learned through prayer and through discussion with my daily sobriety renewal partner that part of the power of a lust hit is in the belief that the object of my lust has something I do not.
A member wrote about how he is triggered so often by other people. When we discussed what he really meant by the word triggered, he answered, “I was attacked by lust.” He’s suffering and feeling that our program is not working for him.
After five years of sobriety and co-ed religious formation, I thought I could be like normal people and have healthy friendships with the opposite sex. I had made many female friends in the previous years, women I hoped I could see as sisters and live in freedom.
The Old-Timers’ panel in Newark last summer was comprised of Dee (1987), Tom (1987), Pat (1996), Mitch A. (1985), Margo C. (1986), and Harvey A. (1984). Part I was in the December Essay.
The sexaholic on the telephone was palpably discouraged. “My lust does not seem to be getting better,” he said. “I still want to type sexual search terms into my computer. I find myself fantasizing about contacting women I’ve seen. Why doesn’t my lusting get better?”
In SA’s Step One, I admitted that I’m powerlessness over lust (not over a particular behavior), and the Third Tradition states that the only requirement for membership is “a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober” (SA 209). Both the Step and the Tradition remind me that lust lies beneath my acting out behaviors.
A member with one year of sobriety recently wrote to me, asking me to describe the meaning of progressive victory over lust. He said, “I know the sobriety definition, but how can I define whether or not I’m sober with progressive victory over lust?”
Now that Roy has passed, it is incumbent on all of us to carry on his primary emphasis on recovery from Lust. Unlike other “S” fellowships, where the emphasis is on the powerlessness over acting out, we in SA emphasize our powerlessness over lust.
My initials are L. A. I’m powerless over lust without God’s help.
