I remember when I first met Roy, in 1983. He appeared nervous around me, but not nearly as nervous as I felt around him. I expected to find a number of sober women who could tell me how to stay sober. I found only a few women, and none of them had six months of sobriety in our program.
I would like to share my memories of Roy K., who was perhaps second only to my father in influencing my life for the better.
When I first came into SA, wrote my Step 0, and came to meetings, I knew what I had to do. I deleted the phone numbers of three guys I had acted out with. I closed down my Instant Messenger program and removed the program from my computer.
Acceptance is a big part of my program today. Acceptance keeps me out of expectations (premeditated resentments), resentments, and revisited resentments. I can take “hits” off of any of these, and these hits can lead me directly to lust. One thing that helps me a great deal is using three simple slogans.
One morning in the spring of 2000, my mother threatened to throw me out of the house when I arrived home at 5:00 a.m. I ran away that night so I could continue acting out. I was 21. I had been attending college full-time and had two part-time jobs, but I dropped out of school and didn’t show up at work so I could act out.
I am powerless over lust. Lust has made my whole life unmanageable. Without this program I could never stop acting out, no matter how hard I tried. I found the SA program in 2003, but left after I decided I could work the program on my own.
My name is Jo; I’m a recovering sexaholic in New Zealand. I have been sexually sober by the grace of God since April 7, 2007.
Leprosy is a dread disease. It horribly disfigures and numbs one to pain. If that were not enough, there is an immense social stigma involved. People do not associate with a leper and keep their distance. The leper cries out, “Unclean! Unclean!”
I remember sitting in our counselor’s office when my husband told me he wanted a divorce. I was devastated. Not because I loved him all that much. My ongoing emotional affairs with the men at work, combined with sexual fantasies and masturbation, were dearer to me than my husband was at the time.
Gold and silver are not beautiful and pure until heat is applied. The dross then comes to the surface so that it can be skimmed off. Diamonds, before the chisel, are inert, ugly rocks. Incense, without fire, has no sweet smell.
