At EMER’s first Regional Convention in Warsaw in 2013, five women met from five countries (Luxembourg, Ireland, Holland, Spain, Poland). We had never met before, and most of us were the only women in our home meetings. This was a wonderful experience, and we started two projects: a Women’s Skype meeting and an EMER Support for Women Committee.
I came into SA in October 2014, on the advice of a friend in another Twelve Step program. I started working the Steps with a female sponsor (the only SA woman in my area), but the situation did not work out, so I asked one of the men in my home group to be my sponsor. But this did not work out so well either.
The first thing I remember from my childhood is that I spent every waking minute reading stories of beautiful, fragile princesses, who would be rescued by handsome princes on white horses. I would spend many hours going through every detail so that I could be just like a princess, so that when my prince arrived I would be ready to go with him and live happily ever after.
I was on a slippery slope. For the past few months I had begun indulging in lust, as well as resentment, anger, and self-pity. I was yelling at my kids, demanding things from my husband and family, and wallowing in self-pity. I was spending more time in my head, in fantasy about past sexual encounters.
In May 2014, while out of the country on a business trip with my husband, I met a man who disclosed to me that he was a sexaholic. I told him that I thought I might also be a sexaholic, but I was shocked by the sobriety definition. I asked him, “You will never masturbate again?!” I was astounded. I didn’t think that was possible. He told me about his Higher Power, and that there is hope.
My name is Marie W., I’m a sexaholic, and my sobriety date is August 20, 2005. I came into SA because I was afraid I would die if I didn’t. I had started including self-inflicted pain in my acting-out behaviors. Today, because of SA, I’m learning to let go of old behaviors and replace them with healthy ones.
Dear SA Fellowship: I am an SA woman living in Iran. The typical Iranian, it seems, has great difficulty understanding lust addiction and believing in SA’s program of recovery, and this can be even more difficult for women.
I was on my way to an SA International Convention, less than a half an hour from home, when the traffic started to back up. I was already fighting a resentment about the traffic problems I usually encounter when I drive to this particular city. I was becoming more and more frustrated, certain I would be late. I had committed to speak on a 3:00 p.m. panel discussion of how to develop a deeper relationship with my Higher Power!
I’m a grateful recovering sexaholic woman, sober since October 22, 2001. I was thrilled when I was asked to share my story at the January 2013 Convention in Atlanta. The last time I was in Atlanta was for the January 2002 Convention, when I had just returned to SA after a seven-year relapse.
For my Step Three, my sponsor suggested that I answer a standard set of questions that we use in our local groups. The answers I found were illuminating for me, and I shared my Step Three with my SA group. The feedback I got from the group was positive—several members even encouraged me to submit my Step to ESSAY!
