An ad hoc committee on “How SA Supports Women” studied the global issues related to welcoming women newcomers. They presented to the General Delegate Assembly several recommendations.

The SA Correctional Facilities Committee has seen a dramatic increase in the number of prisoners needing to be sponsored by mail. This is due to SACFC outreach, etc. We currently have a backlog of some 150 sponsees. We have an urgent need for sponsors.

The Finance Committee invites the SA Fellowship’s Service Committees to participate building the 2021 SAICO budget. Information provided by your committees constructs the budget foundation reflecting the Fellowship’s service needs.

Would you be willing to try singing the Obsession Song as a tool to surrender the right to obsess?

Dear Essay,
A short letter from a maternity ward, just shared with my SA fellowship:

Dear Essay readers:
This issue of Essay includes many stories on “Sober Dating.” Our next issue in May, 2020 will focus on “Travel and SA Recovery.” Please send in any stories or short articles on your experience with traveling experiences in Sexaholics Anonymous. Future topics include: Lost in Translations in August, 2020. Let us hear from you at essay@sa.org.

I got married twice before finding my way into Sexaholics Anonymous. I thought those marriages would save me but my best thinking got me divorced.

Trustees met earlier in the week. They received committee reports, discussed the success of the November SA Internet Marathon (SIM) and how to distribute the SIM recordings, and considered the new California law change regarding private information.

The Recovery Day took place on the 4th of February in the regular meeting location of the Tottenham, London group. 23 fellows attended the day representing 9 groups, from London, Leeds, Bournemouth, and one fellow from the United States. The theme of the day was Step One.

Consistent with Tradition 11, AA receives promotion and referrals from medical professionals, therapists and psychologists, clergy, corporations, and the media. Thus members need not break their anonymity to promote AA. I believe that we in SA need to be seen. Otherwise, we let professionals, clergy, and other S programs treat most of those seeking help.

One Sunday morning driving along a beautiful lake I recognized that I was feeling serenity and gratitude. That is a renewed experience for me.

I don’t know if my experience is like anyone else’s or not. But not only did I never “figure it out,” trying to figure it out became a roadblock to surrendering (give up, let go, and let God). This kept me from having the necessary change in attitude and taking the action Steps necessary to connect rightly with God and find sobriety and freedom from lust.

My Step Eight amends list had one individual who was going to be challenging. I was hesitant because I feared a confrontation. I knew that I was wrong and I would have to admit it to him. This had been a burden on my soul and there was no moving forward into the grace of my Higher Power’s forgiveness if I held grudges toward others.

One gift of SA has been the recovery in my marriage. I have no right to a happy and fulfilling marriage. I am certainly not worthy of this, but I have an amazing Higher Power who loves me no matter what—and for some reason, He seems to get a kick out of loving me through others, including my wife. Imagine that!

A couple of months ago, I retired. Finally I came down to the last couple of days and it was time to say goodbyes, which would include some affectionate goodbyes. That was good and bad, because ¾ of my co-workers were women. I was looking forward to some hugs and not entirely in a healthy way.

This is my second trip to an out-of-town city for a two day work trip. The first trip I met with the new group I am working with. We spent two long days in tough preparation for our business that concludes today. There was a lot of hard work, and laughing, and getting to know each other.

“Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake” (AA 417).
I am reminded of this again today. I don’t go to church. I avoid religious people and situations like the plague. I believe in a Higher Power and I am still learning who He is. However, I still really struggle with my old concepts and beliefs.

Isolation has always been a danger for me as a sexaholic. Before coming to SA, I lived my life in a bubble, withdrawn from others, cut off from any type of Higher Power, out of touch with reality, lost in my world of illusions. I was uncomfortable dealing with reality, and preferred the comfort of isolation, in which I could bask in lust and let my ego reign in all its glory.

Recently married for the fourth time, the marriage already unstable due to my disease, I arrived at SA in early 2002. I’ve been sober since July 18, 2008. However, sober isn’t well, and my anger persisted. Finally my wife left me in 2013. At that time, I was a GDA delegate and attending International Conventions. I had an unmarried sponsee who needed dating guidance. What did I know about sober dating?

For years I thought I took sober dating very seriously. My partner and I had been sexual together in 1991 and all hell broke loose. I prevented her contacting me ever again. and fled back to the UK. Then, five years later I reasoned things were different. She and I reconnected at an SA international conference. “This must be God’s will” I reasoned. My sponsor wasn’t so sure. “Make sure you are never alone together” he said.