I have been a sexaholic since early childhood. Since that time I have used sexual stimulation to mask the emptiness in my life. From the very outset it became an addiction – compulsive and progressive. My brain is wired now to expect sexual stimulation.

Four of us get together every Tuesday morning for an SA meeting. We are from four different ethnic backgrounds, working near the US-Mexico border.

Flanders (the northern part of Belgium) and the Netherlands share the same language: Dutch. The difference is like the difference between UK and US English. Same language, but a different pronunciation and some words are different, but well understood by the others.

I was 17 years old when I moved to the US. I was already a sexaholic back then, I just didn’t know it. I was one of the lucky kids who had parents that granted me the opportunity to study abroad. After only 3 years of zero limits, I ended up hitting rock bottom.

A few months back the opportunity came up to help to translate and diffuse our daily reading from ‘The Real Connection’ via WhatsApp into French. My mother tongue is English and I live in Nice in the south of France. I am seven and a half months sober, although I’ve known SA for between 25 and 30 years.

Over three sober decades in SA there have been quite a few pieces of “bad news” for me as a recovering sexaholic. They all arise, like my entire program, from my experience, strength, and hope:

One of the most effective Practical Tools is HUMOR.
Recently a sexaholic had a severe car accident. He had followed his sponsor’s suggestion to always look at his feet when he saw something that might trigger him.

I had many friends, a loving family and a caring wife. But all this was not enough. I wanted others to see that I was confident and knowledgeable. Wanting people to only see what I wanted them to see. Yet in the quiet moments I felt alone. My thoughts and actions of lust separated me from those relationships.

I’ve physically acted out in my sleep. An old-timer who had the same problem suggested that I wear pants under my pajama pants. Acting on this suggestion has helped me avoid touching myself, providing as it does, an extra layer between myself and lust.

Not long ago, I did it: I put a Desire chip in my mouth. And no, it didn’t melt.

La única novedad anual que sucedió en mi familia, aparte de mi cumpleaños, fue la llegada de las vacaciones. Solíamos ir a la playa todos los años y la libertad que el mar y las olas producían en mí, suavizaba la angustia de tener “padres especiales”, que no se amaban y que incluso podían divorciarse.

Dear SACFC and friends,
We know your life, and the lives of your loved ones, depend on your recovery and recovery depends, much of the time, on service. During this time it is easy to forget about those incarcerated, even as we take care of ourselves. Our primary purpose of carrying the message has not changed, due to the virus, not one bit.

The Corona Virus has disrupted the Fellowship contribution supply line. Most 7th tradition collections begin at our local face-to-face meetings. But we are not allowed to meet at our regular meeting locations. We have taken to phone and Zoom meetings to carry our message of recovery. But how do we make of 7th Tradition collections?

In First Light an old-timer went through Member Stories and copied the part that was the turning point for that sexaholic.

To the Essay:
After six years of continuous struggle in Sexaholics Anonymous, my Higher Power granted me the gift of sobriety. My sobriety date is the 5 September 1993.

To the Essay:
After six years of continuous struggle in Sexaholics Anonymous, my Higher Power granted me the gift of sobriety. My sobriety date is the 5 September 1993.

Dear Essay readers,
This issue of Essay includes many stories on “Travel & SA Recovery.” Our next issue will focus on “Lost in Translations” (experiencing SA in other languages and cultures) in August, 2020. Please send in any stories or short articles on your experience with language changes in Sexaholics Anonymous.

First quarter results were promising. Fellowship contributions were back to budget levels. Literature sales were returning to normal. We were finding the way. We were on the right track. Then the Corona Virus struck in mid-March. There was no warning; there was no ramp up; there is no play book. Our meeting room lights were shut off, not dimmed, but just dark. The Fellowship found the way.

I have attached my goals for the next year in SA. These are to enhance my sobriety. I am going to do a goal every week and write about it in a journal.

The March 2020 Asia Pacific Online Unity event was a huge success.