My name is Pat and I’m a sexaholic. Last December I celebrated 17 years as a member of the SA Fellowship and 17 years of SA sobriety. I feel so blessed.

A detailed donations report is enclosed with mailed issues of Essay. The report is also available from SAICO. To request your copy, please call SAICO at 866-424-8777 or write to saico@sa.org.
In 2008, an appeal was sent out to the fellowship to help offset a shortfall in contributions to SAICO. Called the “Quarterly Appeal,” this was a request for contributions from members, meetings, Intergroups, and regions.

Last July, I began serving as the CFC chair for the Los Angeles Intergroup. The mission of SA’s CFC is to carry our message to incarcerated sexaholics, and one way to do this is to participate in CFC’s Sponsor-by-Mail program. So early in my service, I introduced a Prisoner Correspondence Format in one of our groups (see format below).

The city of Detroit has a rich and varied heritage. It was the birthplace of the American auto industry and brought on the age of assembly line manufacturing, which led to unprecedented growth of the US economy. Detroit became known as the Motor City.

On February 15, 2014 the English-speaking Taichung group held its first SA retreat, entitled “It Works If You Work It.” Five of us active members were present. This was a great milestone for us, to have our first gathering outside of regular meetings since our group began in January 2010.

May 2014 was an unforgettable month in the history of SA Israel and SAs EMER Region. In only 10 years, SA Israel has grown from a few loners to more than 300 active members; more than 50 meetings in English, French, and Hebrew (with five new meetings opened this month alone); a fully paid-up and redecorated “SA Meeting House;” the hosting of EMER’s 2014 Regional Assembly and SA/S-Anon Convention with nearly 300 participants in attendance from all over Europe and even a handful of members from the US and Canada—and all of this followed by a remarkable International Recovery Camp on the shore of Lake Galilee!

In the early years of establishing SA in Iran we did not know how to stop our problem and recover from sexaholism. Members of other Twelve Step programs who had long-term sobriety joined SA and gave us recommendations from their own fellowships to help us to recover from our sexual behavior.

In the Spring of 2001, a fellow was struggling with staying sober from lust. He had tried many ways to stop, including using spiritual tools—but he could not stop. Then in the Fall of 2002 he met another man who also wanted to stop.

Recently, while attending an SA meeting, I was having a dialogue inside my head as someone read aloud “The Solution” (SA 61).

Even as a child I had a sensitivity to noise. I came from a large family, and our house was always noisy and chaotic, with everybody talking at once. There also was a lot of yelling. I used to escape to the woods near our house for some peace and quiet. I liked to listen to the quiet rustling of the trees and hear the soft singing of the birds.

My tale begins over 12 years ago. At the time, I observed that—as I walked from my car to a downtown SA meeting—I would often notice the women coming toward me or even across the road or on the sidewalk, and smile at them. Sometimes what I noticed about them turned to fantasy, and I would have to surrender this during the subsequent meeting.

One of the ways I continued in my addiction and acting out was by going to SA meetings (no, that is not a typo!). That was because “going to meetings” was all I wanted to do to stop acting out. I wanted an “easier, softer way” (AA 58). I wanted to design my own program, and that meant just going to meetings.

While I was growing up, our family attended church twice on Sunday and again on Wednesday nearly every week. This gave me a good exposure to God and to the church. I didn’t always enjoy attending church, but something was planted within me. I believed in a punishing God, but at least I believed in God.

On September 18, 2013, I celebrated five years of SA sobriety. While I realize that five years is only a benchmark and that I still have much to learn, I’ve been so excited by what I’ve already learned in SA that I would like to share it with you. And I would like to compare my life to a cup, having an inside and an outside. In recovery, I’ve learned some healthy tools for maintaining both the inside and the outside of the cup.

When I first came to SA, my world had just exploded. My last acting out partner had called my wife and told her what I’d been doing. My wife learned about a long list of behaviors that I was none too proud of. My loving, even-tempered wife responded to that call by picking up the pot roast she had just prepared for dinner and throwing it at me.

On March 13, 2014, John C. of Rochester, NY passed away. He was a real beacon to those of us who knew and interacted with him. This included sponsors, sponsees, fellow SA members here and around the world, and members of SA’s International service structure.

I woke up this morning thanking God. Then I prayed this simple prayer: “God grant that I may love Thee always and follow Thy will. Do with me according to Thy will.” Then I did my daily readings. It wasn’t always that way. Today I’m enjoying over three years of sexual sobriety. But again, it wasn’t always that way….

We are grateful for a significant increase in the fourth quarter fellowship contributions. As a result, 2013 income came in slightly under budget. Expenses exceeded income by $18,749. The Prudent Reserve ended the year 2.2% ($3,544) below its requirement. The outlook for 2014 is not encouraging.

I need to tell you something about myself: I’m a tightwad, a penny-pincher, a moneygrubbing cheapskate. There, I’ve said it. I used to prefer sex with self, mainly because that was the cheapest option.

SA’s International Committee will sometimes receive a request from a member to fund an expensive meeting location, because of difficulties finding an affordable space in a desired location. I’ve heard the reasoning that affordable meeting places cannot be easily found outside the USA.