Central Office needs contact people (name, address and phone number) for new inquirers to call. The listing below shows, by state, the first three numbers of the postal Zip Code areas in which we have no contact person. This means that while we have many calls from people suffering, in some cases we are unable to help them find a meeting in their area.

I was talking to another SA member recently about healthy marriages and how to have one, and he suggested that I propose a “corner” in the Essay for members to share what is working for them in that area. I think we spend too much time talking about acting-out behavior and not enough about having healthy relationships. If we truly have surrendered lust, then what better do we have to do with our time than learn how to be more intimate with our spouses and/or friends?

A few years ago my 12-year marriage was collapsing, my wife was ready for a divorce, we were growing apart, and I couldn’t understand it. Today it is clear to me that I was the problem. I was obsessed with myself and my stuff, and I was obsessed with other women. I couldn’t keep my eyes and mind off them.

We have recently begun something new here in San Diego—an open Sexaholics Anonymous meeting. I have not heard of this being done elsewhere in the fellowship, and so would like to share this experience with you.

Our first SA meeting was held on the night of August 15, 1993. After more than two years of waiting and praying for an opportunity to carry the SA message to another suffering fellow, the most joyful moment in my progressive victory over lust came when I personally welcomed a native of Papua, New Guinea, to my room and had a direct heart to heart sharing with him.

Portland Sunday Night East is fluctuating with attendance between 18-35, and sobriety from none to three years. Dennis B. is acting secretary and Dan K. is treasurer and everything else. Two members celebrated one year of sobriety: Dan P. in August and Dan K. in October. Also Matt B. will celebrate one year in October.

Our group is still small—nine in all—but we have good attendance at meetings, and growing sobriety. Honesty and solid sharing mark our meetings, which include at times hearty laughter, at other times the weeping that comes from intense pain or joyous release. Not everyone has a sponsor, and that’s troublesome. We’re also working on starting and closing our meetings punctually.

On Tuesday, September 7th, the first SA meeting in Saudi Arabia, to our knowledge, was held in Dhahran at the house of one of the members. So far there are only two of us, but we have some literature which I brought from London, and we both have experience of other Twelve-Step programs.

We celebrated our first birthday in the Tokyo Group in August. We average four or five members every week—three come by train, the farthest traveling two hours. A few Japanese who speak English well have joined the group and eventually we hope to begin a Japanese SA group.

The quality of sharing in meetings has been on my mind, off and on, for several months. I’ve been finding it increasingly frustrating when the sharing veers off from the topic introduced by the lead speaker.

As I read through the history of SA and of AA, one thing becomes very obvious. We are not helpless when problems arise at the meetings. We are not helpless precisely because we have the strength of the Higher Power to lead us, if we but seek His way and His will, and if we have the fellowship of one or two like-minded members.

As a recovering sexaholic, I am constantly amazed at how my perception of the world continues to clear up as I accrue more recovery and sobriety. Just the fact that I have been able to draw a distinction between recovery and sobriety is a testament to the fact that my “fog” has begun to lift. This simple separation has been key for me, for as we have all seen, and maybe even experienced, mere sobriety is just not enough if we are to truly be “happy, joyous and free.”

What led to the new solution-oriented program: “We got tired of the tidal wave of slipping.”

Agenda: January 1994 conference in Rochester; service committee reports; other business.

The meeting on chronic slipping was completely without resentment! (at least, no resentment about the theme…). Some people identified as chronic slippers. Some asked for a sponsor.

In the past we have sent the Essay newsletter to a large number of people, both members and inquirers, free of charge. We can no longer continue to do this and remain self-supporting as required by SA’s Seventh Tradition. It has therefore been decided that starting with the December 1993 issue, we will send the Essay to subscribers only, at a cost of $7.00 for a one-year (four issues) subscription.

[The following is a transcript of a talk by Jesse L. at the Nashville International SA Conference, July 1993]
Thank you very much. It is beautiful to be with you. And thanks to Martha and Joan and all you people in Nashville for creating this beautiful environment for us. And thank you Harvey for helping bring me here and giving me this chance to say over a concerted period of time something that is so important to me. I have looked for this opportunity for some time and now it is here.

Without daily surrender of my powerlessness over lust, there is no possible way I would have over two and three-quarter years of sexual sobriety. Without daily surrender of my powerlessness over resentment, rage and hatred, there is no possible way I would have recently celebrated two years of what I call “verbal abuse sobriety.”

I have been a member of SA for over eight years now, but will be celebrating my first anniversary of sobriety in about three weeks. During my first seven years in the program, I didn’t want the painful consequences of my lust, but I didn’t want to stop altogether either. It has taken me seven years in the fellowship to finally reach my “bottom” and to “go to any lengths” to achieve and maintain sexual sobriety.

At a recent meeting in White Plains we had a special meeting on sponsorship. We changed the format and made it an “open” meeting with feedback allowed. We broke the meeting up into fifteen-minute segments.