My Story
I discovered lust around puberty through a porn magazine and quickly became addicted to masturbation and fantasy women in stories, pictures and eventually clips and movies from electronic sources.
Sharing the Nature of My Addiction
I have to remember that my lust has not gone anywhere since I got into recovery. I’ve just been holding it at arm’s length. If I think I’ve got some sobriety so that now I can relax and I don’t need to work so hard to stay sober, my lust is right there ready to step back front and center in my life.
The Good Side of Tech
I am a technophobe, and clumsy at best when it comes to all the gadgets today. I miss the simple life of rotary phones and typewriters! I realize that technology neither caused my disease nor is responsible for my recovery.
Hope for Freedom
One of the greatest gifts in recovery for me has been the realized hope for freedom. I say “greatest,” because I didn’t believe it was possible for me to have freedom from the obsessions and compulsions of my addiction. As an addict I am powerless over lust, so what hope could I have? As I sat in meetings in the earlier years, most of us were still showing up week after week to report on our latest acting out episodes.
Planting New Meetings
I had an idea in my head. My idea was to plant meetings around Scotland. I thought even if it doesn’t help many SAs in Scotland it would probably help keep me sober. I am grateful that I have been sober from lust since December 2008.
South American Outreach
On Tuesday December 5th, veteran SA member Dave (27 years sober) arrived in Colombia to share with us his experience, strength and hope. On December 6th he accompanied us to the noon and afternoon meetings, where there was a combined attendance of close to 15 members. On the next day we went to a drug-addiction treatment center, where Dave shared his experience with 9 psychologists and close to 20 addicts.
The Hand of SA in the Americas
“Must be nice to go to all those places and have them pay.” I do hear that said from time to time. First, let me say that I get more out of speaking places than anyone else. I love the chance to share my Experience, Strength, and Hope with others.
Fear and Courage
Fear is normal and somewhat healthy. It has enabled human beings to survive and flourish. If fear was not a part of the human make up, our ancestors would have either been eaten by lions or tigers, or met some other unfortunate end. I have experienced fear many times in my own life beginning at an early age when my father would angrily yell all the time.
Old-Timers Speak — Part II
The Old-Timers’ panel in Newark last summer was comprised of Dee (1987), Tom (1987), Pat (1996), Mitch A. (1985), Margo C. (1986), and Harvey A. (1984). Part I was in the December Essay.
A Useful Tool for Me
I have downloaded what I call a “ringing tone” that rings every day at 12:12. It is now on my smartphone. It has been for almost a year. I may have seen that tool somewhere within an SA document. It helps me remember to be grateful that I have a program in 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. Any ringtone could do the trick.
