I am a 50-year-old man in Poland, sober since 2011. I came to the Fellowship in 2007. My first significant stretch of sobriety was for 2.5 years starting in April 2008. Then I ended up in a psychiatric hospital diagnosed with severe depression. I lost my sobriety there, but I immediately reached out to the Fellowship again and found a sponsor. I started the Program all over again. I have been sober ever since.
This personal experience at the EMER Convention was scheduled for publication in the December 2024 issue of the ESSAY but had to be saved for this issue. Be sure to listen to the author’s interview on the December 2024 episode of, “ESSAY Conversations - Beyond the Page” at essay.sa.org/get-involved/essay-podcast.
I grew up in a religious home. My father was an ordained minister, and our family observed many religious practices. As much as my father preached the doctrine, he did not live the church principles at home, (at least, that’s how I experienced it). My sexual acting out started at a very young age and included isolation, fantasy, secrets, hiding—a real double life.
I was a Catholic, then a Protestant … also a pastor, a missionary … and a sexaholic. That was me in a not-so-neat nutshell. God was always a significant part of my life. I fully embraced my mother’s devout religious practice and fully engaged in the church. I loved the fact that people accepted and admired me. Being "a good guy" fit my need for recognition perfectly. The more good you did, the more respect you earned. I embraced that culture wholeheartedly.
"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." (Step Three)
This was submitted by an inmate as his “one year sober reflection” My name is James D., and I have been sober since November 29, 2023. Since that day, I have had ups and downs. I’ve had several near-slips and a couple of regrets in the area of lustful thoughts.
The fellowship is in a difficult position. We suffered a pullback of contributions during 2024. This forces us to dip into prudent reserves, and we face a shortfall of cash. Our prudent reserve target represents six months of expenses at the Central Office. We need your help to collect contributions, increase personal commitment, and get cash back to SAICO. SA saved our lives; let us commit to save SA’s lifeblood. Thank you.
Dear ESSAY, I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to the ESSAY team for continuing its vital work after Luc’s passing. Your dedication keeps alive an invaluable resource for our Fellowship worldwide.
The whole team at the ESSAY is again uplifted and humbled by your experience, strength, and hope on this month’s theme of “God as We Understand Him.” The other pieces about Practical Tools, Steps & Traditions, Worldwide News, etc. also continue to teach and inspire us.
نام من عبدالباری است و من یک معتاد جنسی هستم. دوستانم در آمریکا نامم را بهصورت اَب-دِل-باه-ری تلفظ میکنند، اگر بخواهم صادق باشم؛ هنوز به کلمة «معتاد جنسی» عادت نکردم. من هیچوقت دقیقاً نمیدانستم که چه مشکلی دارم. فکر میکردم که فقط یک آدم عادی با عادت زشتِ تماشای پورن و خودارضایی هستم. ولی آنطور که معلوم شد، اصلاً عادی نبودم.
