IN THE CURRENT MAGAZINE

There’s a great talk by Roy K. called “Sponsorship and Group Sobriety.” (If you are new to the Program, Roy K. was the founder of our Fellowship). In his talk, Roy K. shares about the highest purpose of sponsorship. It’s not to keep people coming to the Program, and it’s not to keep people sober, because only a Higher Power can do that. According to Roy, the highest purpose of sponsorship is not even working the Steps, although that is an integral part of it. He says that the highest purpose of sponsorship is introducing other men to the real Connection and bringing them into a way of living where the sponsee can experience having that real Connection.

I recently dated someone for three months. The first month was great, but by the second month, I felt like he was pulling back emotionally, and by the third month, we said our goodbyes.

After finishing my Step Four harms inventory, I was very grateful to notice that each consecutive person that I dated after I got sober had fewer harms. There are still things left to work on, but my ability to have healthy relationships has improved since joining SA. I'd like to describe some of the progress that I saw in my inventory.

I was unmarried when I entered SA at the age of 26. I got sober and stayed sober though several dates and relationships. I met my wife after 16 years of sobriety. I remained sober through our courtship and 12 years of marriage (so far).

My name is Dave, I’m a recovering sexaholic, and I’ve been sexually sober since August 1, 1985 by the grace of God and this wonderful Fellowship. I came into the Fellowship when I separated from my first wife hoping to save my marriage. After two years of sobriety, we still divorced, and by the grace of God, I knew absolutely that I had no business being in any kind of romantic relationship, much less a committed one.

My name is Abdelbarie, and I’m a sexaholic. Friends in America would pronounce my name Ab-del-BAH-ree, but to be honest, it’s the word “sexaholic” I’m still not used to. I never knew exactly what was wrong with me. I thought I was just a normal guy with a nasty porn and masturbation habit. As it turns out, I’m not normal at all.

My Personal Journey Through the 12 Steps to Overcome Automatic Negative Thoughts In my home, a quiet battle has been waging—a battle that parallels an even more personal struggle within my mind. On one hand, I face an invasion of tiny ants that seem to materialize out of nowhere, marching across my kitch­en counter. On the other, I wrestle with automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) that creep into my mind, disrupting my peace and self-esteem.

For me, the most important Step is the First Step. Taking the First Step is the motivator for all of the other Steps. I am fully convinced that I have a fatal malady beyond my ability to fix, so I move forward on the other Steps. Step One is a process of surrendering pride. It’s not the end of pride, but hopefully, God willing, it can help create a daily reprieve.

We are greatly saddened by the sudden passing of the ESSAY Editor, Luc D. As you can see by this issue, ESSAY will continue—although it won’t be the same without Luc’s magic.

An article published in this year’s October issue titled, “The ESSAY Enhances Our Meetings,” was quite encouraging for single SA members. In that article, an SA sister recounted a frantic search which ensued after a fellow member referred her to an older ESSAY article that had a great impact on his recovery. Regrettably, he lost his only copy and couldn’t remember the title. The author of October’s piece, along with other sleuths in that meeting, did find the older article, which proved very valuable for those in their meeting.