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JUNE 2025

“Grieving In Recovery” — Feeling our feelings of resentment, fear, and shame can be overwhelming when first getting sober. Roy K. describes this difficulty in the book Sexaholics Anonymous. However, being overwhelmed by strong feelings can return when experiencing loss in recovery. Grief, even after years of sobriety, can be difficult to bear alone. Higher Power, working the Steps, participating in the Fellowship, and outside help can help members who are experiencing grief for the first time in recovery.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Enjoy reading all the articles of the current magazine below.

  • Sylvia participated in the early history of Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) and was a primary figure in the development of SA’s current service structure.

  • In my memory, the expression “good grief” was a common expletive of the cartoon characters in Peanuts. For much of my life, I used “good grief” to express astonishment, dismay, and frustration, never considering the deeper truth hidden within the euphemism. Before I entered the SA program (10/21/1998), I lived with an accumulation of frozen grief. Only after a couple of journeys through the steps did I begin to understand and embrace the benefits of grieving. I realized that journeying through grief was healing and good for me.

  • Flirting Was a Real High for Me by Sylvia J. (at six years SA sober) with the original 1989 title Reprinted in Member Stories 2007, pages 120-123 with the title “The Only Way I Knew”

  • I started this 12 Step program from the bottom after committing adultery. What was left was me saying, “I know a solution. I'm going to commit suicide, and then I'll blame everybody else. That it’s all their fault.”

  • A Legacy of Recovery through the Eyes of Those She Helped

  • I am very lucky to have an experienced therapist who is a man my age and who has also personally worked the 12 Steps for his own addiction issues; he thoroughly supports 12 Step programs. I have found this kind of outside professional help to be a very positive complement to my recovery in SA.

  • I wept nearly every day in my first year in recovery. What a contrast with the previous 25 years, when I acted out sexually whenever I felt sad. In doing so, I had stuffed so much grief inside me that when the dam broke, I thought the flood would never end. There was a lot of pain down there. All those losses that I had never grieved: the death of my father when I was a teenager; many lost loves; two broken marriages; separation from my children; two failed careers; hard-won fame and fortune gone. There was a world of sadness here that I had never expressed naturally. I had just “moved on” to the next career or relationship, until one day I was 12th-stepped.

  • The January 29 reflection from The Real Connection has had a profound impact on my recovery.

  • I remember what my life was like when I was living wholly in my addiction. It was as though I were in a cave, deep inside, where the light was far off, and surrounding me were damp, cold walls of stone. Gratefully and finally, I moved toward the light and found fellowship in SA. That damp, dark place was my lust addiction. I was isolated even though I was surrounded by people. In my lust, I saw people as objects, and I was alone.

  • I didn't know what grief was or what it felt like before recovery. Lust numbed all my emotions, positive and negative. I rarely had feelings when pets passed away. It felt like it was just part of life.

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