IN THE CURRENT MAGAZINE

Twenty-five years ago, I was working as a procurement clerk and was made to give a tour to some clients to whom I had sent hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of proposals over the years. I had spoken with the salespeople by phone. I felt like I knew them.

My name is Jared and I’m a grateful, recovering sexaholic. I was arrested on the night of Dec 7, 2018. I plead guilty to inappropriate conduct with a minor and was sentenced to 32 1/2 years, 7 1/2 of which are fixed.

I was introduced to SA by another inmate. Initial contact from the SA sponsor team was very helpful. I am now working with my sponsor—brother and friend—who was assigned to me earlier this year. SA has changed my life. Since joining, I thank God both for SA and for those behind the scenes who, along with my Higher Power, are helping me stay sober.

Incarceration can easily trigger guilt, shame, remorse, fear, loneliness, and negative feelings like anger and resentment towards oneself and others. Knowing how to handle such feelings, whether inside prison gates or on the outside, can free a person.

For over twenty-seven years Ray S., aka “Tucson Ray,” was the genuine, formative force for SA prison ministry (SACFC). He wrote the sponsor-by-mail approach that is still in use, and started the prison meetings. He created the protocol for how to approach prison officials. Ray S. died June 17, 2018 at age 87. We are forever indebted to him for blazing the trail in SA service.

In my faith tradition, we have the story of a wise man who was once asked, “What has God been doing since He created the world?” The wise man answered, “He is busy bringing people together.”

We were the first ever SA program in a prison outside the USA. It started at the Newcastle Monday night beginners group Prison Subcommittee. A prison chaplain at Junee Correctional helped us start the first ever SA program in an Aussie prison.

My first sponsorship experience was prison sponsorship. I was skeptical about reaching out and sponsoring others, but my sponsor kept pushing me. “Carry the message. Carry the message. Carry the message.” He’d repeat that over and over and over.

As early as 2009, fellows of the Belgian SA were involved in 12th Step work for sexaholics in prison. In the ‘early years’ some contacts were established with prison staff, chaplaincy and social workers.

Until about four years ago, I was living in a country in Africa with my wife. We had gone there to set up a humanitarian project to help widows, orphans and children. We'd been married for a bit over 38 years at that time. The stress of setting up a project from scratch, put an awful strain on our marriage.