IN THE CURRENT MAGAZINE

I received some news about my health that I was not quite ready for. It meant multiple trips to the doctor and waiting on test results. Waiting has never been a strong suit of mine. I found myself wrestling with fear, for as a sex addict, fear can be quite triggering. Fear is the spark that, if not surrendered to my Higher Power, can start a forest fire of bad decisions.

One of the practical tools I have found most helpful in recovery, particularly as a method of working step 11, has been setting aside time to pray outside of my house during the day. I have worked remotely since the start of COVID lockdowns in 2020, so I am often able to get away, doing so to houses of worship nearby my home. I have also done so in parks, airport chapels, or in lobbies or waiting rooms when out and about.

Traveling per se is a great gift bestowed by God - some people cannot afford it due to physical or financial issues. Traveling broadens outlook, inspires, acquaints with new places, new people, and new countries. Whether I’m relaxing or working, traveling is a part of my life. I am so grateful to God for this gift. Why is sobriety required for me when traveling?

I recently celebrated my fifth sobriety anniversary in SA and I’ve never been grateful enough for that. I remember talking to an oldtimer after a meeting in my country. I was still new to SA. He had been in the program for eight years.

Traveling was never appealing to me. Why should I spend money to visit places that millions of people already visited and take pictures to bother my relatives with?

I'm back here again. I have missed this city. It has been just shy of a decade since I've been here. I breathe in the coastal air. The cooling embrace of the sea in front of me, and the towering skylines and mountains behind.

Being a sexaholic is a life-long condition, and it goes back to my childhood where I felt inadequate, unworthy, unloved, and lonely. I used to drink resentments about how I walk, talk, and my body shape. Thus, I never dismissed an opportunity to make myself feel better, including active lusting!

I started my SA journey on May 25, 2021 when my husband confronted me once more but the difference this time was that my inner voice (Higher Power's voice) strongly directed me to some God (Good Orderly Directions), so I googled, found sa.org, and got connected to an SA India sister who introduced me to the SA program.

Even after I connected with SA and started taking the steps, there were many things I did not understand. One of them was the "timing of Higher Power." I was repeatedly told by one of my fellows ahead of me in the steps, that I would "always know" when to make amends, and to whom, and what to say to them, as long as I was properly connected to Higher Power.

My name is Yoshi. I have a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober. My sobriety date is July 29, 1994. I am now 77 years old and have had many "lifesavers" in my life.