IN THE CURRENT MAGAZINE

Fantasies in my life want to corrupt the real. They are not from God. They want to kill me. It’s the highest form of selfishness relating to my life during a 24-hour period. They are an enormous danger to my freedom. So I pray to God and beg him to give me the program actions during the day to live in the real world—not in fantasy.

The saying goes, “We’re as sick as our secrets.” I now also think that “We’re as sick as our stories.” My sponsor surprised me when we did our first Fifth Step by limiting my second column sharing to “ten words or less.” I was ready to explain the psychological nuances of everyone listed in my Fourth Step.

I joined the program in December 2014 and found my first sponsor from Ireland/USA through SAICO. Back then, he was based in Jordan and sober for 22 years. During my first call with him, he introduced the program and asked me to read the whole AA Big Book before working the Steps. I agreed and we ended the call.

There are, as we know, precisely twelve Steps; but there are countless recovery sayings—“Keep It Simple,” “One Day At A Time,” and “First Things First,” being just a few of the most popular slogans.

I heard this story recently at one of the many meetings I go to and I wanted to share it with the Essay readers: A sexaholic is cruising the pavement, looking at triggers everywhere, and falls into a hole. He tries and tries to get out but can’t. He starts shouting. “Help me! Help me!”

When I joined SLAA in October 1994, there was no SA in Ireland. In February 1995, an SA member who was a friend of one of our members, came over from the USA and attended our SLAA meeting. I had not heard of SA yet. He told us about sponsoring, working the Steps, phone calls, check-ins, and fellowship after the meetings.

I am a member of SA Iran and have been sober for 17 years and 11 months. I want to share with you my experience of Step Eleven. Conscious contact with my Higher Power has helped me so much to stabilize and deepen my recovery.

I came to SA at the beginning of 2008. At that time SA in Poland was very small. There were only four meetings (three in Warsaw and one in Krakow) and about fifteen participants. We only had some excerpts of the White Book and Step into Action (70 pages in all). Nor did we use AA literature at that time.

In January 2009 I went to my first SA meeting. On the literature table I found a copy of the Essay magazine. It contained a funny recovery joke. I truly had to laugh! It was the first time I found out recovery can be fun. Until then, my experience with trying to recover in another S-fellowship was mainly depressing and gave little hope.

What was the fellowship like in my early days of recovery? According to what I remember and knew, it was: certainly not ideal! We had no published literature but used PDFs and printouts. We didn’t have SA materials to work on the Steps but used materials from other fellowships. Multiple-year sobriety was something unusual.