IN THE CURRENT MAGAZINE

In the 2005 movie Crash about race relations in Los Angeles, a cop sexually assaults a woman, while her husband stands by, completely powerless to save her. Husband and wife both fear for their lives. The experience devastates her, and threatens to destroy their marriage. Weeks later the same woman is in a car crash, trapped in a flaming wreck in the middle of a highway. The officer who shows up to rescue her? The same cop who attacked her.

My dear friend, I’ve been masturbating since the 6th grade and found SA in 2003 or 2004; I don’t remember exactly when. I went to some meetings and then stopped for several months. I came back in 2005 for good.

A member asked, “Do you feel connected to people?” She was feeling uncomfortable in mixed meetings, after one year of sobriety.

I have heard of problems at mixed meetings, and I have had a few of my own making. But the problems have been valuable lessons in my recovery, and I wouldn’t trade those experiences because of the wisdom I’ve gained from them.

I have always been active in my chosen religion since my baptism at the age of 18, even though I was an active sexaholic of varying degrees before and throughout my 35-plus years of church membership. For a while I even served as a bishop, an unpaid clergyman equivalent to a pastor in other churches. All that changed a little over 27 months ago, when I was excommunicated from the church as a result of my addiction.

Lord God, I pray for all the fellows in SA; For everyone who gathers and begins with a prayer for serenity,

I grew up as an only child in what I believed to be a normal family. To this day I question what “normal” is. Not many kids lived on my street; it was mostly older people—until my friend “Ron” moved in.

I came into SA hoping it would save my marriage. I thought it was going well, but my wife said she needed some space, that my just being in the house was a constant reminder, and that our children didn’t see that I was having any consequences for my misbehavior.

I have been an SA member for 14 years. I came to my local area SA in its infancy. I have served in Intergroup, and, with the help of some dedicated members, helped to start three groups in my area.

After years in a dark place, God has given me the gift of recovery. One of the fruits has been the blossoming of my relationship with my son. It has been my privilege to be with him in his recovery.