IN THE CURRENT MAGAZINE

My dysfunctional family and religious tradition taught me to feel fear and shame, particularly surrounding “impure thoughts” and “touching yourself.” These feelings were very intense and too painful to bear, and I escaped them in a way that became a very deeply-ingrained pattern of thought and behavior.

My name is Tom and I am a recovering sex addict, gratefully sober for eight years. I am constantly reminded that I still need the program, including the Steps, my sponsor and the Fellowship. Recently in a local SA meeting I reflected on an Essay article about masturbation that we read and shared.

When I went through my first 90-day abstinence period, my sponsor suggested that one purpose for this abstinence was to discover that sex was totally optional. My wife and I have done several abstinence periods, from 45 to 90 days. Each experience brought a deeper understanding about ourselves and this disease.

I’m a sexaholic which means I’m powerless over lust and lust will always win the battle if I try to stop my diseased mind from lusting. Powerlessness means the battle is already lost. There is no point in trying to struggle any longer. I have nothing left to do but unconditional surrender.

What if today’s the day I meet several life long friends? What if the community I am joining at my school is beyond my wildest imagination? What if today is the first day I get to act on a life long dream? What if today starts something that cannot be stopped and has already been finished? Something transcendent, holy, and exquisite?

In 1988 there were SA meetings in Germany, Washington D.C., Simi Valley and the LA area, San Diego, Nashville, Oklahoma City, Salt Lake City, Portland (Oregon), Seattle, Chicago, New York City, Boston, St. Louis, Rochester, and a few other cities. At that time Nashville had six meetings per week, which we believe was the most per capita in the world! Today SA has meetings around the world, on all continents except Antarctica.

At the Jerusalem European Region meeting reports were received from: Finland; Flanders; Francophone IG; Ireland; Israel; Netherlands; Poland; Spain; Russian-speaking IG; United Kingdom.

Recently we had 80 people attending our Saturday morning meeting. Tears of joy welled in my eyes recalling the first meeting I attended over 32 years ago. There were only two of us. After the meeting my mind reviewed the activities we used that led us today to having at least 49 meetings a week in our area.

SA members in Washington, D.C., are celebrating the 25th anniversary of an SA meeting that opened its doors in November, 1991, and has met weekly at the same location ever since, Capitol Hill United Methodist (CHUM). Members are grateful for the Friday evening meeting that sets a spiritual tone at the end of the work week with the SA program and Steps.

The secret is out! There are already a number of flourishing online SA Groups where members share experience, strength and hope via text message and make and receive calls, find sharing partners, etc.