Magazine

MARCH 2004

I AM INSANE, NOT EVIL — This issue of the ESSAY includes a powerful recovery story, examples of our developing literature and information about SA service work.

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In Every Issue

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Enjoy reading all the articles of the current magazine below.

I Am Insane, Not Evil
I am a grateful recovering sexaholic and an orthodox Jew. I have been obsessed with sex and lust almost as long as I can remember. I can recall at age twelve, sitting in the bathroom in Israel, playing with myself. By age thirteen, I was masturbating compulsively.

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My Palm Tree
Outside my sixth floor motel room at the San Diego Convention, I can look out the glass door to see and “hear” my palm tree—my temporary sponsor during this Convention. The branches explode outside my room, atop 50 feet of straight, strong, and branchless trunk. The palm tree stands tall and carries a program message to all who are prepared to hear.

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Courage to Change
This topic really challenged me. I have heard people say that one of the things I have to do in this program is change everything about myself. Well, I have changed many things. I have walked through changes with my heart pounding, knees shaking, and feeling physically sick.

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First Things First
For over thirty years, I was convinced I knew how to put first things first. I had my personal priorities, which usually involved me getting attention or getting ahead in some way. I knew that pleasing other people increased the odds that I would get what I wanted.

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Fear
I can’t see my self-centered fear. What others recognize as my obvious self-centeredness, to me is just the “real world,” or the “facts” of my life.

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12 Steps for Geezers and Geezettes
1. We admitted that we were powerless over whatever it was and that our lives had become confused.

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Olympic Training for Those Who Cannot Stay Sober
If you are in a painful and seemingly endless cycle of relapse, unable to scrape together a few weeks or just a few days of sobriety AND you are willing to do whatever it takes, then read on.

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