IN THE CURRENT MAGAZINE

The saying goes that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and so does a journey of a single step, by the way. The problem for me however, was that all my life, I just wanted the thousand miles.

My addiction has cost me a great deal over the years. I have been arrested, lost three jobs, thrown out of a religious community and have been divorced. Despite experiencing these consequences, as well as extended periods of sobriety in SA, my addict will still tell me that acting out is a good idea!

A newer member of SA decided he didn’t need to go to any more meetings. After a few weeks, his sponsor decided to visit him. It was a chill evening and the sponsor found the sponsee at home alone, sitting before a blazing fire.

Through recovery, I have experienced several negative to positive change experiences. Below are some of them. First Experience: From the very first day when I joined SA and attended my first face to face meeting, I was surprised that I am surrounded by 25 men.

After more than 40 years of drowning in a vast ocean of sexaholism that has a bottomless abyss, I was relieved to finally have a rescue swimmer (my sponsor) swim to my aid. I had the desperation of a drowning man and listened and followed his suggestions without question. The spiritual toolkit he was laying at my feet had immediate results.

I began sponsoring when I was almost 18 months’ sober and was working on Step Six. I was hesitant because there was, and there remains, no formal guidance on how to sponsor, but my mentor told me it was time for me to step up to the plate.

It is difficult to describe in words the feeling of gratitude to God for me to be a sponsor. It is a great honor, responsibility, and joy. I want this process of transmitting the message of recovery from one woman to another to never stop. I believe that sponsorship is the most effective recovery tool in the SA Program.

I surrender in a place where I least expected it—sponsorship. I thought that, working on principle, under the guidance of the Twelve Steps and Traditions, I was safe from my character defects.

For the last four years I have been serving women who have decided to change their lives with the help of the Twelve Steps. During this time, I started working Steps with more than 30 women.

Our White Book says, “I got a sponsor (a friend in the program to help me work the Steps) and began working on me.” (SA 23) As a sexaholic, I need to find right relations with others and God, and where best to start but with my sponsor, who can mirror back recovery and help me with the Twelve Step program.