IN THE CURRENT MAGAZINE

I’m Mike, a sexaholic, and I’ve been sexually sober since June 3, 1984. I’m grateful to the members of my home group, who have helped me stay sober for the past 30 years. I’m also grateful for my wife, who probably should have dumped me many times over the years, but for some reason she has chosen to stay. We have a pretty decent marriage today—but it wasn’t always that way.

I came into SA in 1993 with a desire to fix my marriage. I had heard other newcomers share this goal, and it seemed reasonable to me. But placing my marriage relationship before my personal recovery led me to significant danger.

It’s 4:23 a.m. as I write this. Before getting up to write, I had lain in bed for half an hour processing a close call. The close call was not the trip to the emergency room we made the night before, when my daughter needed medical attention.

I have sponsored and been sponsored. Long-sober members often describe their sponsors with reverence. But if they talk long enough, they sometimes admit that the person who first helped them get sober is no longer sober themselves.

As part of my recovery over the past five years, I’ve made cartoons based on recovery concepts. Translating my recovery into visual terms helps keep me focused on the solution. The cartoon below came to me in May of 2009, while at the house of an old-timer in the UK where I was staying to work the Steps.

Is my life better today than before I surrendered to God and started working the SA program? Absolutely! Is my life in sobriety what I imagined it would be like? Absolutely not. I certainly did not know the extent of the changes I would need to make when I started working the Steps.

I came into SA in May of 2010 and have been gratefully sober since August of that year. At each stage of sobriety and recovery, I feel my vision is changing. Over the past couple of years in SA, I’ve noticed many paradoxes (also called apparent contradictions) that serve as the foundation for my continued growth in recovery. I believe that the potential list of paradoxes is endless, but following are some I’ve come up with so far.

When I came into the rooms of SA, I was relieved to learn that God was so important to the Program. I was always a deep believer in God; in fact, I would say that He got me here. He gave me the kick in the pants that I needed to get me to these rooms.

SA’s French-speaking Intergroup was founded March 2, 2013, and in December 2013 we joined EMER. Currently, there are three French-speaking meetings in Europe: one in Lille, France; one in Brussels, Belgium; and one in Luxembourg. Our meetings are still quite small (five to nine members) so we always appreciate getting input from long-term SA members from other countries.

Twenty-five years ago, having had a first spiritual awakening, I embarked on a month-long pilgrimage to Europe, traveling alone. The trip ended in my acting out in a public place, and the final, inescapable realization that I was powerless over lust. This admission brought me to SA.