“NEWCOMERS—HOW TO WELCOME AND KEEP THEM” —
Tradition Five says that each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the sexaholic who still suffers. Local fellowships share how they provide a safe haven for the sexaholics that come for the first time to their meetings, and how they attract them to keep coming back. Read also the report on last month's Cracow International Convention. And enjoy a couple of stories from Israel, where the 2024 January International Convention will be held.
CONNECTING WITH A HIGHER POWER
Two of the best tools in my “spiritual toolkit” for connecting with the Divine Intelligence (along with working the Steps, attending meetings, talking with my sponsor, and service work in the SA fellowship) are singing and playing (or listening to) music. Music is a lifelong passion for me and an important component of my recovery.
During the Covid pandemic, I returned to Ireland after many years teaching in Asia. I spent two weeks living in quarantine in a remote cottage in the countryside. I used to join the daily mid-day Irish SA phone meetings which helped me to stay sober one day at a time.
I had the opportunity to serve on a Friday night last February at an event that I had wanted to serve at for five years, but before never had felt ready to serve because of my addiction.
I am part of the duo that welcomes newcomers in an SA email group called SA Net. SA Net currently has over 1,000 members where the majority transition to meet on Zoom leaving few to actively participate on email. I am one of the few and have found great recovery in not only participating in SA Net but also in doing service.
My first meeting at the Sunday Night McLean Group (Virginia, USA) was nearly two years ago. At the time, the meeting was exclusively on Zoom. One of the older members messaged me and asked if I was a newcomer. I was too afraid and full of pride to be honest with him. I wasn’t sober then. I know I didn’t sound sober, either. He was just glad I was there. This has been my home group ever since.
Back around 2003, at my old home group in Philadelphia, we developed an orientation meeting for newcomers. We had written to a number of intergroups around the world, asking if they did orientation meetings for newcomers. Many wrote back sharing their orientations, and we combined ideas that we received in order to create one that we felt worked best for us.
Newcomer meetings—I love them! Newcomers remind me every time how deep I was in my active addiction myself, and I need such a reminder. But more important than that, at a first meeting, I can show that recovery is possible and I have an opportunity to be of service.
Our intergroup had their first spring retreat this year, after 3 years of COVID restrictions. Since I joined SA 3 ½ years ago this was the first time I was able to go and I jumped at the chance. My home group is a two-hour drive away so I have not been to a face-to-face meeting with them in 3 years though 2 other members live close by and the 3 of us do meet every 1 or 2 weeks. I have been waiting to see the bigger world of SA for some time. This retreat was my chance.
Just before I came to SA, I hit my personal rock bottom. On the outside, it was not so obvious that my life had become unmanageable. I was still married with children, had my health, a home, a job and a community. But inside I was at my most desperate and darkest hour.
