Some Step 11 Ideas On Meditation
Many groups, religious and non-religious, have long experience practicing meditation. Here are some of the practices that they have found helpful.
“The Toughest Act in Town”
Steps 1-3 brought me into the SA program (vs. just participating in meetings). Steps 4-9 under the guidance of a sponsor took me though the process of reconciling with my past and connecting rightly with God and others. Steps 10-12 keep me in right relationship with God and others and show me a path ahead to keep growing spiritually.
The God Of My Understanding
I am seeking a timeless and relevant God to assume ownership of all my affairs and provide guidance for all future decisions. This God will negotiate all interactions between me, my true self, and the rest of creation. My new Higher Power will direct my steps to either avoid or correctly navigate difficult and painful situations, self-induced or otherwise, at His discretion.
We Came to Believe
Have you ever known something—then you didn’t? Have you ever believed it—then you didn’t? Have you had faith and lost it? I have. I was a student, teacher, preacher and leader. I knew the Bible inside and out. I had faith that my God was real. I believed it with all my heart. However, I had a secret. That secret was my addiction. This addiction ate at my core.
Solitary Self-Appraisal Insufficient
Whenever I try to hold something back from my sponsor or renewal partner, I find lust creeping back into my life with renewed vigor. In the AA chapter “Into Action” this quote is found: “…we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. …they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty…” (AA, Chapter 6). We find that most relapse comes from an insufficient Fifth Step (or Tenth Step).
Selfishness And Being A Victim
Here’s an important principle for me to remember: “Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.” (AA 62)
Elvis and Step Nine
As I worked the Steps, I had difficulty staying focused because I had looked ahead and knew Step Nine was in my future, and I was scared. My sponsor kept telling me, “Don’t worry. When you get to Step Nine, you will be ready.”
Step 2
I grew up in India with a devout Hindu mother, an atheist physician father, Muslim friends, and attending a Catholic boarding school. Although I was exposed to multiple faith traditions growing up, I never considered myself religious and rarely thought deeply about God. I would occasionally selfishly pray before exams.
Step 9: Putting the Picture Back on the Desk
When I was sixteen years old I was caught having sex with my girlfriend. We had skipped school and headed to my house. A few hours later my parents came through the door. I was busted. I remember the embarrassment, anger, and disappointment I saw on my parents’ faces. At sixteen I was a full blown sexaholic, I just didn’t know it yet.
The Fourth Step
Thirty years ago in SA I had an awful experience working on my Fourth Step. I focused solely on my defects of character and acting out behaviors. As I wrote I reacted in shame and acted out sexually. I couldn’t connect with any hope that I could get well or notice the hand of God working in my life. I was worse off after completing my Fourth Step than I was before I started it!
