My life has been a succession of moments, the next one always building on the results of this one, this one having resulted from the fruits of the last one, good or bad. In the past, I failed to understand the impact my decisions would have on my attitudes, habits, cravings, and expectations.
My name is Debbie. I’m a recovering sexaholic, sober since November 1, 2006. Because of the fellowship of SA, I’ve learned to live happy, joyous, and free today, as described in the AA Big Book (AA 133).
In completing my Third Step, I followed a suggestion to write a letter to my Higher Power. I thought the suggestion a bit unusual until I realized that by taking Step Three, I would be in effect entering into a covenant of sorts with my Higher Power, and that a letter would be an effective way to document my side of the agreement.
I’m David, a grateful recovering sexaholic from Toronto. My wife and I wrote the following song after the Denver SA/S-Anon International convention in July 2009, with the idea of singing it at the January convention in Nashville.
When I first came to SA in December 1999, I had 15 years of AA sobriety, had sponsored many men, and had spoken at meetings and conferences. I felt arrogant in SA meetings.
A member with one year of sobriety recently wrote to me, asking me to describe the meaning of progressive victory over lust. He said, “I know the sobriety definition, but how can I define whether or not I’m sober with progressive victory over lust?”
Now that Roy has passed, it is incumbent on all of us to carry on his primary emphasis on recovery from Lust. Unlike other “S” fellowships, where the emphasis is on the powerlessness over acting out, we in SA emphasize our powerlessness over lust.
When I started my journey of recovery, I was not prepared to call myself a sexaholic. Even though my life was unmanageable, I knew I had a problem with sex, and I was attracted to men, I did not believe I was powerless over lust.
I first met Roy at a meeting at a regional convention in Irvine, CA in 2006. As the meeting was about to begin, I heard someone whisper, “Hey, there’s Roy K.!” The room was crammed with maybe 50 people, and I spent the rest of the meeting trying to guess which one he was.
In January 1994, I attended my first SA convention in Rochester, NY. After the Friday evening session, I joined a small group of people standing around Roy. I’ve been fortunate on a few occasions to meet certain rare individuals who have the true gift of presence. Roy was one of them.
