I have been following a journey all my adult life toward what now, as a sober SA member, I think of as Step 1—and I am now almost 60. I am moved to write this article by The Real Connection reading for today, which at the time of writing is April 7. It describes a method of meditation which the writer felt could be useful to other members, that is, in silence paying attention to my breathing, and focusing on my breath as it goes in and out of my nose and mouth, letting go of my thoughts as they arise.

I attend the regular meetings of my home group every week, but currently, except for me, there are only male fellows there. However, as a “woman and a sexual minority,” I have been accepted into this group and feel like I belong and have a connection.

What is Lust?

NEXT EDITION—The August issue will try to deepen our understanding of the concept of lust, which is the indispensable key to sobriety and lasting recovery.

Dear ESSAY, we’d love to share the story of our Loving Chair with you all.
Jaime Daniel is one of the founders of our group. 12 years ago, he celebrated his 24th anniversary of sobriety in another fellowship where he received a small plastic chair as a gift. He donated that chair to our “La Liberación” group.

اوایل ورودم به SA، زمانی که راجع به جلسات مختلط مطلع شدم، فکر کردم اگر در جلسه ای باشم که اعضای آن، ذهنی مثل ذهن من داشته باشند،آنجا مثل یک پارتی خواهد شد

سلام، من کارین هستم، یک معتادجنسی خانم، و در ۲۷ ژوئن ۲۰۳۳ به SA پیوستم. تاریخ هوشیاری من یکم سپتامبر ۲۰۲۳ است. من یک گروه حضوری خانگی SA دارم، در جلسات زوم SA شرکت میکنم، دوازده قدم را با یک راهنمای SA کار میکنم و کارهای خدماتی کمیته اصلاح و تربیت SA را انجام می دهم .همچنین، من متعهد به “نه” قرار ملاقات یا وارد شدن به یک رابطه برای حداقل یک سال هستم. من قبل از SA،دلم میخواست بمیرم

من از سال ۲۰۱۰ در این برنامه بوده‌ام. برنامه به من این امکان را داد که ۱۳ سال پاک بمانم و از اینکه از من خواسته شد مقاله‌ای درباره مردان و زنان در جامعه بنویسم، بسیار سپاسگزارم

گفته می‌شود: بهبودی آرامش و صلح در میان طوفان است.
پریسیلیا طوفان‌های زیادی را پشت سرگذاشته است. امروز بعد از بیش از ۳۰ سال پاکی جنسی، او ابزارهایی دارد تا در میان طوفان دلسرد نشود و ادامه بدهد. پریسیلیا سی از نشویل تِنسی از ۷ فوریه ۱۹۹۳ پاک بوده است. او از طریق روان درمانگرش به معتادان جنسی گمنام فرستاده شد. فُرمهای شهوت‌رانی من اساساً با مردان متاهل و یا مردانی بود که از لحاظ عاطفی غیرقابل دسترسی بودند

من از ۷ ژانویه ۲۰۲۳ تاکنون پاک هستم. آن روز یک پرواز به آفریقای جنوبی (South Africa) که در زبان انگلیسی به اختصار SA خوانده می‌شود، داشتم و از آن زمان، عینا‍، سفری به یک زندگی جدید داشتم. خداوند فوق العاده شوخ طبع است

یک سال پیش وقتی وارد اولین جلسه دراپلیکیشن زوم شدم احساس نگرانی کردم، چون مختلط بود. من یک سوال داشتم، چطور در میان مردان هوشیار بمانم؟ آنچه در ابتدا به من قوت قلب دوباره می داد روشی بود که در آن اعضا به همراه تاریخ هوشیاری شان خود را معرفی می کردند. اما من در این موضوع گزینه دیگری برای انتخاب نداشتم، من باید بر ترسهایم غلبه کرده، و برای آموختن اینکه چطور هوشیار بمانم و بهبودی عمیق تری داشته باشم به جلسه باز می گشتم؛‌ و من انجامش دادم. من به شرکت در جلسات مختلط روزانه در زوم بعلاوه شرکت در یک جلسه هفتگی مختص بانوان ادامه دادم

We have seen many miracles. As a worldwide fellowship, SA carries some heavy responsibility. The Support for Institutions and Professionals Committee (SIP) is organized to address one of these responsibilities head on: sharing our message with various helping professionals and larger institutions. We, who have personally benefited from the miracles of the 12 Steps can now take part in informing those who help people every day.

Some years ago, we started an online Persian SA meeting, which was the first online SA meeting as well as the first mixed meeting in our fellowship in Iran. In the beginning, there were some technical and online cultural issues but overall no major problems.

When Zoom meetings started I was blessed to attend one or more meetings per day including for the first time a women’s only meeting. I didn’t have much experience attending meetings with other SA sisters. It was beautiful.

As a young girl, I dreamed of becoming a scientist. But life took a sharp turn when instead I became a lust addict. Accepting my struggle wasn’t easy. What I thought was innocent indulgence in pornography and fantasy spun out of control, and I came to feel completely powerless. I stumbled across SA on the Internet, but I was still under age, and I had to wait until I turned 18 to join the Program. And living in India, where we didn’t yet have face-to-face meetings, meant I had to rely solely on online support.

My name is Mike M. and I’m a sexaholic. I’ve been one since before I even understood what lust was. I’ve been sober over two years now thanks to the 12 steps of SA, working with a sponsor, and a Power greater than myself that I try not to understand, but to experience. I’m married to my wife and we have three boys, 17, 14, and 10.

In my Step work I spent quite some time on my negative attitude towards women. There seemed to be very little trust. How could there be when there was no trust in me? I had always been switching from Mr. Know-It-All to Mr. Pitiful. In the one role being blind to the mess I made of my life and to how I hurt others, minors and women included, and if the pressure was too high, I became the victim that needed everybody’s help and understanding.

I came into Sexaholics Anonymous at age 31. I am 55 today. I’ve seen a lot of women come and go. Based on behaviors I’ve experienced during those 25 years, I’d like to share some practical recovery tools how I treat the opposite sex at our mixed meetings:

“What can we do so that more women attend our meetings? What can we do to support women in SA? What can we give women when they come into our meetings? What are we doing wrong that women leave our meetings? How can we encourage more women in service?”

About a year ago, I was asked to invite members to write articles for another ESSAY edition about women in SA. A few months later, talking about it during breakfast at the International Convention in Krakow, Poland, someone suggested that it would be more interesting to make an issue about women and men finding sobriety together. We are all equal in the Fellowship, and we need each other’s fellowship to achieve recovery as the White Book states in its chapter on “Mixed Meetings” (SA 178-179).

The poignant narrative of Arpita on pages 12-14 underscores that we are all fellow travelers on a spiritual journey who struggle with similar challenges. It’s tempting to attribute our discomfort to the opposite sex, but true insight reveals that the root of addiction lies within ourselves.