בחברותא, אנחנו שומעים הרבה על שינוי. תפילת השלווה שלנו מדברת על ה”אומץ לשנות”. בתחילת הדרך, חברים מפוכחים מספרים לנו שיש להגיע ל”נכונות” כדי לשנות. אבל מה זה בעצם שינוי, במונחים של החברותא ומפוכחות?

הגעתי ל-SA בשנת 1999 בנסיבות לא פשוטות בעקבות תקופה ארוכה של התנהגות כפייתית לקויה שכללה מעט אנשים אך השאירה הרס בתוך התא המשפחתי שלי. את היקף ההרס גיליתי שנים רבות מאוחר יותר רק לאחר שהתמסרתי לעבודת תוכנית הצעדים בלב שלם

כשהייתי חבר חדש בחברותא, שמעתי דבר שגרם לי לצחוק ”אני נרקיסיסט שמתעב את עצמי”. חשבתי שזה מצחיק, אבל בו זמנית רציתי לבכות בגלל שההצהרה הזו היא באמת נכונה לגבי. אני סקסוהוליסט והרווחתי בדין את הכיסא שלי בSA. יש לי מחלה פאטלית, חשוכת מרפא ומתקדמת, מחלת נפש אמיתית. בנס בלתי מובן, התוכנית עזרה לי למצוא את דרכי לכוח העליון שהחזיר אותי לשפיות. אכן, כל מה שיש לי הוא למעשה דחייה מותנית רק להיום של המחלה הרוחנית שלי, אך זה עצמו נס מוחלט בעבורי. החלק האחר של הסיפור שלי הוא שאני הר געש מתפרץ. השנאה העצמית שלי הובילה אותי לכעסים בדרכים שהלכתי שהיו קרובים למוות וכן לנסיונות אובדנות ממשיים.

שמי לינה, אס איי, מפוכחת מאז 2010, מקסיקו סיטי
נולדתי בשנת 1968. נגמלתי מבקבוק רק בגיל שש. כתוצאה הייתי נושא ללעג בבית. אני זוכרת את ביתי עשוי מרצפה דקה ומלוכלכת; היו לנו משאבים דלים והרבה צרכים כספיים. הייתי צעירה משמונה אחים בנוסף להיות ילדה עם מחלת בטן.

I started coming to Sexaholics Anonymous at the beginning of 2019. I had experience in other recovery fellowships, so I already trusted the 12-Step approach. Thanks to AA, my father got sober for the first time in his life in 1995, and even though he had relapsed before he passed away, I already knew for sure that the Program worked.

“Keep it simple”—how profound and how difficult. When I came to SA I looked for that special something that would knock my socks off and catapult me into sobriety. How disappointed I was when my sponsor said, “I’m not keeping any secret tools from you; the experience I have I have shared with you; there are no bunnies in the hat.”

Last October, the Seventh Convention of SA Mexico was held in the city of Tuxtla Gutierrez. The convention was attended by 47 SA members and 13 S-Anon members; for several participants this was their first convention and their comments are below. We, the organizers, thank the Higher Power (God as each one conceives Him) for this experience that was so important in our recovery.

COURAGE TO CHANGE doesn’t just come about randomly. At least, it never has in my life. I don’t think I have much courage, much less the courage I need in order to change. Changing myself can be scary. Sometimes it terrifies me. But turning my life and will over to the care of God as I understand Him helps me find courage.

Have you heard of the SA Board of Trustees? Do you have any idea what service the Trustees provide our fellowship? Have you ever thought that you might be a candidate to serve as a Trustee? Whatever your answers to these questions, we invite you to read on and learn more about this particular service opportunity.

Courage to Change—something that I wasn’t capable of before coming to the program. I was the one who never said ”no” to anyone—I had to prove my worthiness by doing anything anyone wanted me to, and by helping people while forgetting to take care of myself.

“Meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings…” That’s what they told me. “Just keep bringing the body”- preamble to the Eighteen Wheeler. At the end of the meetings I attend we gather in a circle, hold hands, and say together, “keep coming back it works if you work it and you’re worth it.”

I ask God, as I understand him, for the courage to change. When and how do I do this? Every time I pray the Serenity Prayer, that phrase is there. I have liked the Serenity Prayer ever since the beginning of my recovery. We pray it often, in group meetings, in workshops, and at retreats … It says profound things with simple words, but often I will get distracted and simply recite it automatically.

I am Oscar, a recovering sexaholic, sober by the grace of my beloved Higher Power since March 6, 2012.

How does one become an oldtimer? It is very simple. Stay sober one day at a time, and do not die. Everything else is detail.

I could not go on. I had to change. And one of the many promises of the 12-Step program is that I will change fundamentally, if I work the tools of the program.

I am convinced that the book Alcoholics Anonymous is correct when it says that “Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.” Selfishness is a spiritual malady, a spiritual problem rooted deeply in my being. I consider or evaluate everything by how it affects me. My fears are self-centered. A lot can be written about selfishness. It is enough to say that it is what causes my problems.

The topic of this edition matches the theme of the upcoming SA & S-Anon International Convention in July in Los Angeles: “Courage to Change.” Many men and women on the convention committee are serving tirelessly to make it an opportunity for you to continue your own change. All information on p. 30.

The author of this article describes how he came into the rooms of SA in 1999 with the purpose of getting his life back into order—but not to change.

In response to the previous ESSAY edition, I wanted to share the following. I once asked Roy K. what he boiled recovery down to. He answered without hesitating, looking me right in the eye. “Stay sober, work your steps, and watch what God does.”

Men and Women in SA

NEXT EDITION—The June issue will be on the brave men and women working together on their common solution in the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous.