With his sponsor’s help, he learned to deal with shame and guilt.
As we persist, a brand-new kind of confidence is born, and the sense of relief at finally facing ourselves is indescribable (Twelve and Twelve 50).

His gratitude list was the hammer that crushed his guilt and shame.
I didn’t think I was fearful. I was a strong, tough male who had gotten in fights before and played contact sports like football, hockey, and rugby. So I thought that I wasn’t afraid of anything.

An elder member in SA helped him see that he was addicted to himself.
“You’re the most arrogant [person] I have ever met!” Although a more colorful word was used instead of “person,” this statement still saved my life.

SA taught him that letting go of guilt was not only okay, but necessary
Fear and shame were awaiting my entrance into the world. My grandmother was harassed and bullied for her parents’ financial struggles, language, skin color, and country of origin. So she resolved to protect her children from the same fate by refusing to pass down her native language, traditions, customs, or history, and insisting that they marry spouses who embodied her idealized notion of an acceptable national archetype.

A powerful practice that prevents him from reverting to his past ways.
Today everything felt serendipitous.
I met a couple who were splendiferous.
Ladyewell, near Preston, a Holy Shrine.
I met a couple who gladdened my mind.

A letter of experience, strength, and hope to encourage the Fellowship.
Dear friends,
There is a strong message that was recently shared in our West African SA fellowship.

Our next edition’s theme is “Rigorous Honesty.” The first words in chapter five of the Big Book tell us that recovery is not possible without the capacity to be rigorously honest. What a wonderful gift to know that we can choose honesty for today, and if we are powerless over dishonesty, we can ask God to remove our dishonesty and gain honesty by helping others. We can also seek outside help. The Steps teach me the process by which I can learn to become aware of the truth and to share that truth with others.

Fear prevented me from experiencing healthy guilt. Guilt tells me I have done wrong. Fear also prevented me from feeling healthy shame. Shame is a slight embarrassment that others may see my wrongs. But fear primarily stopped me from facing toxic guilt and toxic shame.

Peter shares in his article that initial guilt is a healthy response for him. However, shame and lingering guilt were very detrimental to his long-term recovery. He needed to understand how these harmed his recovery and what he could do to move out of guilt and shame as soon as possible—so that he could continue on his journey.

“He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave.”
My name is Levi and I’m a recovering sexaholic in central Nebraska in the USA. I have been sexually sober since July 20, 2017.

Dear ESSAY,
I am an incarcerated person in California. In the past, several of my fellow incarcerated persons and I have held SA meetings on a regular basis, and I’ve actually had a sponsor before.
However, over the years, things have kind of fizzled out, and we no longer have our meetings, mainly due to members being dispersed throughout the system and some of the participants having been paroled.

How the semicolon etched into his skin saved him from ending his life.
Bang! Bang! Bang! “Police! We have a search warrant!” It happened when I was 52, in the third decade of my marriage and teaching career. I carried with me lies and a lust-filled lens on life. Throughout my life, I had crossed so many lines that I had fried my moral compass, which led to a continuation of my sick habits. However, the moment I heard the banging on my door at 6:00 a.m., and an officer announcing “search warrant,” I knew that my fried moral compass had just exploded in my face. I wasn’t surprised, but I was devastated and relieved.

God removed her fear and replaced it with faith with works.
My whole life, I’d been so bound by fear, I’d lost hope for freedom. Through working the Steps, a brilliant light at the end of a long, cold, and dark tunnel suddenly shone forth with a comforting warmth.

SA kepted him sober while therapy helped him heal from trauma and shame.
My wife discovered my addiction for the first time before we were married. I promised if she gave me another chance, I would spend the rest of my life making it up to her. That turned out to be a lie. She discovered my addiction for the second time after I got myself into a legal situation.

Working the Steps on fear allowed her to take action under God’s guidance.
I’ve been married for almost 50 years. My husband has been unbelievably cruel, but I’ve been afraid to leave. My biggest fear has been that I wouldn’t be able to support myself, that I’d be homeless.

He experienced a transformation from SA that helps him see is true identity.
The Problem is not the problem!
When I came to SA in 1999 due to personal, family and relational crises, my feelings were all over the place.

The Steps removed shame and perfectionism, a deadly combination that blocked her from being vulnerable.

Identifying the problem and stepping out of self allows him to live in trust and in the will of God.

Are you ready for another caption challenge? We invite you to craft the perfect recovery caption for the cartoon below, centered on October’s theme, “Surrendering Shame.” If your caption makes us laugh, it will be featured in the October ESSAY edition. Don’t miss out—the submission deadline is September 15. Send your entry to essay@sa.org. Unleash your creativity, and may the cleverest caption win!

היא למדה לקבל את התכנית של הכוח העליון עבורה.
הייתי חייבת לאהוב את עצמי, לא כמו אדם יהיר אלא בתור ילדה אהובה של אלוהים. הייתי חייבת ללמוד ליהנות מחברת עצמי ולזכור שאני ילדה אהובה של אלוהים. לא מושלמת, אבל נמצאת בתהליך של צמיחה הדרגתית כאשר הכוח העליון שלי מעצב אותי לפי רצונו. אני לא שולטת על החיים שלי, הכוח העליון שלי שולט