To seek spiritual progress, I must continue to work the Steps with my sponsor. I must continue reading questions, reflecting and writing answers no matter how many times I’ve done this before. This time around, I found a few Twelfth-step questions online— about reaching out to other sexaholics and how the 12-step program has worked for me.

It works if you work it! It’s a simple quote. We repeat it at every meeting. Just as simple is the requirement for membership: a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober. But while these are simple truisms, living them is not easy. To stay sober in the face of day to day challenges and to deepen my recovery means I have to work the Steps, practice the tools of recovery, do service for others and take regular guidance from my sponsor.

Let’s start with some statistics. The word happy appears in the book Sexaholics Anonymous seven times, and in the book Alcoholics Anonymous 16 times. The word joyous is in the SA book eight times, and in the AA book 12 times. Freedom is used only four times in the AA book and 37 times in the SA book.

Football (or Soccer as they call it in the US) – what would we do without it? It is so exciting, so passionate, such a good topic of conversation, and so much more. As a teenager I was obsessed travelling around the UK following (worshipping?) my beloved Tottenham Hotspur F.C. As life moved on and I got busy with studies, marriage, kids I realized that (maybe?) there are more important things in life and I gradually lost interest.

One of the most effective Practical Tools is HUMOR.
The difference between your sponsor and a therapist
1. Your sponsor isn’t all that interested in the reasons you acted out.

Below is what I shared with a lady in the fellowship who felt attracted to a man in a mixed meeting:

I recently came across an acronym which reminded me of what I need to do each day to remain sexually sober. The acronym is SAHOPE. Here’s what each letter stands for.

My name is Matan C. and I am a recovering sexaholic from Jerusalem, Israel; I am sober joyous and free from September 30th 2016 by the grace of a loving Higher Power, the 12 Steps and Traditions, my Sponsor and Sponsees, my Family, this Fellowship and a wide variety of recovery tools, one of which I would like to share with you now.

I met Dave at a downtown Denver SA meeting. He introduced me to Maxey. He volunteered at a shelter, and brought out three rescue dogs and it wasn’t even close. Maxey was the dog for me.

Five old-timers shared their tools of using their body to overcome their lust temptations:

“How do you practice your program during this pandemic?”
Haha! Thanks for asking. I was on a Zoom meeting the other day when a young man said with some alarm, “I feel like I’m living like a monk!” That just fits for me, I’m thinking. :))

Some of my earliest childhood memories are of obsession and preoccupation with touching the private parts of other children. Raised in a religious home, weekly attendance of church services was expected. Instead of healthy discussion there were punishments and threats of hellfire and eternal damnation.

The writer of “A Second Chance Is What I Asked God For” describes very vividly how he got arrested 7 years ago and was on the verge of losing everything that was dear to him.

Reading the August Essay confronted me with several of my shortcomings. The article “Every Moment Is A ‘Given Moment’” was especially powerful. The author related his recovery to a lake: “Recovery is like a lake that needs an inflow and an outflow.” It showed me that my lake of recovery has grown shallow and stagnant.

Dear Essay readers,
The theme of this issue is about the prejudices and challenges we all encounter sooner or later on the path of recovery.

The Essay recently had a chance to interview Laura, the new Office Manager of SAICO. The article provides a brief insight into what SAICO does on behalf of the world-wide fellowship.

The SA Public Information Committee has exciting news! The three first Public Service Announcement (PSA) videos it has made can now be translated into more languages around the world!

As a sexaholic, I am a refugee from the land of “Trying-and-failing-miserably-at-running-my-own-life.”

Recovery has been a process that moves me ever closer to God. Through selfishness, self-centeredness, resentment, fear, and harms done to others, I built obstacles I could not get over, under or around. I moved farther and farther away from Him.

Before joining the Program, my life was spiritual vagueness, white knuckling, and shame, a darkness inside me where I was lost. I was afraid all the time – of myself, the future, and other people.