The October edition will be devoted to “Using the Literature of the Program,” which is the eighth tool in the chapter “Overcoming Lust and Temptation” (SA 161).

I just got back from the SA/S-Anon International Conventions in Los Angeles. This was the first International Convention in the United States since 2020, and the final registration count was 664! There were another 70 people around the world who joined sessions via livestream. Eleven countries were represented (including Kenya, Israel, and Belgium), 40 of the U.S. states, plus Puerto Rico and Washington D.C.

Last weekend (early April 2024), about 20 SA members spent about 14 hours together for “Truro Recovery Day” in Cornwall, UK (Truro is a quant cathedral city in southwest England). One of the smallest groups in the UK (the Truro meeting) hosted this annual event of the southwest corner of England.

One of the highlights of the international convention in Los Angeles was finally meeting my first (and now former) sponsee, John H. After six years of phone conversations and occasional Zoom meetings, we met in person in California. Being my first sponsee, he often referred to himself as my “guinea pig.”

As a chronic, hopeless sexaholic, I have no human defense against lust. When I lust, I cannot stop. As a chronic sexaholic I have a physical allergy to whatever chemicals, neurotransmitters, hormones—you name it—that are produced by my own brain and body when I am lusting or engaging in selfish sexual behavior. My mental and physical reaction to those substances differ from the reaction of normal people.

I love plants! I have plants in my living room, kitchen, bedroom…everywhere! All that greenery in the house makes me feel good, and since I’m in recovery, I can take good care of them, too. Before, all my plants were dying. I just wasn’t able to give them what they needed, which isn’t surprising, considering I could barely keep myself alive.

Through the grace of God and this program, I’ve been sober since March 4, 2006. I believe that the best way to help “the sexaholic who still suffers” (Tradition 5) is through our sobriety definition. This is the SA message that we carry to the newcomer in our meetings. I believe there are many ways to achieve sobriety from sexual addiction, but there is only one way to achieve recovery from sexaholism — that is by working the SA program.

Thank God I have a program. I have come to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.
I continue to have lustful thoughts. They come to me because I live in an environment where titillation of the senses is a commercial device that businesses use to sell their products. This device is used in all modern media. Unless I live in a cave, I can’t avoid temptation. Even in a cave, I can’t avoid euphoric recall of lustful thoughts. There is no way I can avoid lustful thoughts. I have to accept the fact that I am vulnerable to these thoughts.

Because of Step 1, I have come to accept that I am completely powerless over lust. I strive daily to apply this principle in all my affairs. I try often to remind myself that I am powerless over what life gives me, be it work, family, emotions, events, or anything else. When I used to relapse frequently, I would justify both my thoughts and behavior with the excuse of powerlessness: If I’m powerless, then I have no choice but to act out, right?

My name is Jon, and I’m a grateful, recovering sexaholic. I’ve been powerless over lust for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, it took decades for me to finally acknowledge this fact. I am originally from the United States, but my wife and I currently reside in the Philippines.

I entered the world of SA through an invitation from a friend of a friend. At the time, I didn’t recognize my own lust addiction. I simply enjoyed the company of women, and I sometimes (read: constantly) indulged in pornography. To me, those explicit images were no different from any movie broadcasted on TV. And when I heard about Sexaholics Anonymous, the word “Anonymous” intrigued me. It seemed to hold excitement, secrecy, and freedom—words my lust craved.

Lust is ugliness disguised as grace.
Lust is disgust staring into my face.
Lust possesses my entire living space.
Lust takes all my hopes to erase.
Lust removes the beauty from life.
Lust fills the room with unbearable strife.

I love SA. I am really committed to my SA program and this fellowship. I have peace and serenity in my life because through SA I have found a way to live a sober life. I am grateful to my Higher Power, my sponsor, and our 12-Step program for this great gift. Upon receiving a great gift, it is very natural to want to give back. When I was asked if I would consider being nominated to serve as a Trustee, I said, “Yes.”

I am greatly honored to have been asked to write the foreword to this issue of the ESSAY on lust.

​​The author of this article describes in detail how lust took over her entire life from childhood onwards. Lust influenced the way she dressed; affected how she behaved at school and university; destroyed her marriage; and even drove her to a suicide attempt.

Dear ESSAY, in my addiction I crossed every line I could imagine. Ultimately, I even sexually abused my own daughter. I was quickly arrested because she bravely told her school counselor the very next morning. I was convicted and served a sentence.

פורנו יקר,
אני חייב לומר שזה הדבר הכי מוזר בשבילי לעשות כרגע, אבל אני רוצה להודות לך על דברים רבים. אתה יודע, אנחנו לא בקשר כבר 126 ימים (אבל מי סופר), ואני לא אשקר – אני כן מתגעגע אליך. הרבה. רואה? אני אפילו סופר את הימים! ככה היית חשוב בחיים שלי!! ולמרות שאני לא רוצה אותך יותר בחיים שלי, הייתה תקופה שהיית קריטי להישרדות שלי. עברנו הרבה ביחד, ולמרות שהגיע הזמן להיפרד, אני באמת חייבת קודם כל להגיד תודה

I was born in Nicaragua. My parents divorced when I was a baby. I was raised by my maternal grandparents in the countryside until about 8 years old. When I was around 6 or 7 years old, I was sexually abused by two adult men who were neighbors.

עבורי, תאווה מינית התחילה כמשחק פשוט ששיחקתי עם הילד של השכן. מעולם לא תיארתי לעצמי שמשחק כזה יכול להתפתח ל”דרך חיים”. המשפחה שלי הקדישה יותר תשומת לב לאחותי היפה והחכמה, וכדי למשוך את תשומת לבם, התחלתי לגנוב מהם כדי לקבל יותר תשומת לב. זה לא עבד. לא ידעתי איך לומר, “אני כאן! תראו אותי! תאהבו אותי! אני צריכה שאבא שלי יכיל אותי!”

ביוני 2017 פניתי לחבר SA בתגובה להודעת מייל שלו שנשלחה חודשיים לפני כן, וידעתי שיש לי בעיה של התנהגות כפייתית. על בסיס יומיומי, סיפקתי את ה’צרכים’ שלי כמו תוכנה אוטומטית שעושה חיפושים חוזרים ונשנים. המשכתי לנסות למלא את הריקנות הנוראית שהסתרתי עם החיים הסודיים שלי במשך שנים