My name is Alex. I’m a gratefully recovering sexaholic. By God’s grace and not by any human power at all, I have been free of the tyranny of lust since July 23, 1990.

The Loners Committee is alive and well, and communicating all over the world! In the past six months, Loners Committee members in 22 states and seven countries have sent and received over 175 pieces of correspondence. Thank God.

My name is Eric S. and I am a gratefully recovering sexaholic. I have been sexually sober for over five months and am on my Fourth Step.

I have been sober for about a year now in SA by the grace of God. I like movies and I like to rent action films. My favorite show as a kid was Starsky and Hutch. I always wanted to be a cop and carry a gun. In fact, in grade school, I used to carry a dart gun.

On April 26, 27, and 28th, the Northwest region met at Camp Kwomais in Surrey, British Columbia for the Celebrate Recovery SA/S-Anon retreat sponsored by the Victoria, B.C. intergroup. The camp overlooks the beautiful Puget Sound. The accommodations were rustic, and snoring abounded, but the fellowship was excellent.

When I was asked to speak at the SA/S-Anon meeting, the topic especially interested me. “Two Sides of the Same Coin” brought to mind my First Step and the utter despair I found myself in when I was alone, without God’s strength, God’s hope and God’s love. My disease of looking for others to fill my “God-need” is a mis-connection that leads to disaster.

The conference last September was excellent. Mike D. from upstate NY kicked off the day with a great talk on the importance of working the Twelve Steps. The theme of the convention was: “The Importance of Working the 12 Steps — the Original Approach.” That meant we got back to the basics of the original program of AA by using the 12 Steps, the 10 points of Chapter 5 in the Big Book, and the 4 Absolutes of the Oxford Group, where Bill, Bob, and Ebby got sober.

I have just returned from SA U.K.’s Spring Convention, held at The Grail, Pinner, fired with a deep sense of the True Connection — the title of the event. Thirty sober SAs attended, men and women, including one S-Anon and visitors from Ireland, Germany and the U.S. Our sessions seemed to develop naturally through the Steps to the Traditions, giving a tremendous boost to my own personal recovery with a strong sense of what its whole purpose is: to carry the message.

On January 7, 1986, SA came to Wichita, Kansas, with the first meeting of several people in St. Luke’s Church. It was a very small beginning but profound because Wichita would never be the same city again. A few people hurt badly enough in their own addiction to gather together to “spit in the soup” of sexaholics in the metropolitan Wichita area.

In July 1985, a 12-Step meeting for sex addiction started in Pittsburgh as an outgrowth of group counseling sessions. All the members had to go on was the pamphlet AA 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. In December of that year, members found out there was a national organization called Sexaholics Anonymous, contacted SA for information and literature, and joined SA in March of 1986.

In the five-plus years that SA has existed in Toronto, we have received numerous requests to be involved in radio or television programs. With careful attention to the SA position papers on media publicity, we have always declined. In January 1996, our group agreed to take part in a TV program. This decision, however, gave rise to many questions and concerns within the fellowship, which led to a review of the decision in a group conscience meeting. We would like to share with you what happened and how we resolved it.

The Oversight Assembly wishes to express its deep and heartfelt gratitude to Marsha F. Her tireless efforts on behalf of the SA Corrections Committee have been successful and worthwhile. Marsha energetically discharged her duties and helped preside over a surge in requests for literature from “the inside.” We thank you for service well done.

The new service committee structure calls for four non-sexaholic trustees, or “Overseers,” who will serve with the five elected sexaholic members who together will constitute the Oversight Committee. This procedure follows closely the example of the AA General Service Board comprising both alcoholic and non-alcoholic trustees.

This issue of the Essay is being sent to everyone on the SA mailing list, as an exception to the usual practice of sending to subscribers only. It was decided that it is in the best interest of the Fellowship that the largest possible number of members be made aware of the historic changes in the SA service structure (see “SA Fellowship ‘Comes of Age’ at Phoenix Conference” for a detailed report) and have a chance to respond to the Literature Committee’s “Call for Member Stories.” In addition, we hope to generate interest in the newsletter and encourage subscriptions.

Sexaholics Anonymous observed a major milestone in the convocation of the first Oversight Assembly on Friday, January 12, 1996. In attendance, were SA members with at least three years of sobriety, elected, or drawn, from the eight geographical regions: Northwest, Southwest, North-Midwest, South-Midwest, Northeast, Mid-Atlantic, Southeast, and International. Mike B., chair of the Service Structure Committee, provided the guiding hand in opening the meeting and providing continuity to this historic event.

My name is Dave and I’m a sexaholic. In discussing Working Paper #1 (“Practical Guidelines for Group Recovery”) with my group and with other sober members, I kept coming back to the most positive experience in my early sobriety, which represents for me a model of what a group should be. I would like to share it with the fellowship. I believe this was a gift directly from God to me.

When I used to nourish lust thoughts, there was something going on inside me we might call spiritual fornication. Within my spirit I was shutting God out in rebellion, perverting the reality of the lust object to suit my sick need, (splitting myself to create and then imagine that inner partner,) and then having sex with her, which was really having sex with myself. My soul is fornicating whenever it turns from God as Source of life to the substitute (Augustine).

Jim P. of North Hollywood, CA died on January 18, 1996, after having lived for over three years in a new and joyous life of sobriety and freedom.

My name is Michael D. and I am a sex addict. I have been sexually sober for over 5 months now, praise God. I have just been released from the California Men’s Colony State Prison, where I served a three-year term for sexual battery.

In clearing away the wreckage of the past in my 15-year marriage, I am successfully using the following format when making amends: