In one of the Harry Potter books, the defense against the Dark Arts teacher would shout, “Constant vigilance!” He meant, of course, that constant vigilance is necessary in order to stay safe from practitioners of the dark arts. When I read this, my first thought was “That’s how I have to be with my sexaholism.”

Often when I’m in an SA meeting, I’m not really listening to the words of the readings. I’ve probably heard the words “Many of us felt inadequate, unworthy, alone, and afraid . . .” (SA 203, “The Problem”) a thousand times. But one day, the meaning of these words really hit me:

At the beginning of Sexaholics Anonymous (15), the narrator says in part: “Then one night out of nowhere a prostitute jumped into my car . . .” (emphasis added). I used to think that my own behaviors occurred “out of nowhere.”

About five years ago, my sponsor in another fellowship talked with me about Step Eleven. This was before I found SA, and I was busy imposing my self-will on the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I was the epitome of “half measures availed us nothing”—nothing except for maybe a check mark on Steps One through Ten, indicating I had completed them.

For me, lust is an attitude. It begins with a desire to covet. It is a desire to take (even if only mentally) something that is not mine to take. My acting out always begins with lust. Why? Because I am powerless over lust. I do not have the ability to control it.

I’m the type of sexaholic who likes to do everything by myself. I started my own business, did my own accounting, and wrote my own contracts. When I play music, I only want to play my music. I don’t want or need any help because I can do it all by myself!

Dear SAICO and the SA fellowship:
Our group would like to express our sincere appreciation for the services you all provide on a global level to those who require help from SA. Your help has been a tremendous blessing to us as well as to me personally.

Recently, I celebrated one year of SA sobriety—after more than 11 years in this program. I turned 62 last week, and I’m still married after 36 years.

In late December 2007, I received a flyer along with my copy of ESSAY, announcing the July 2008 International Convention to be held in Akron, Ohio. The flyer identified the Convention theme as “Welcome Home.”

My name is Neal (aka “Pepe” in Spanish). I’m a grateful recovering sexaholic.
This past year, my work sent me to Spain for seven months, and then to Zambia and Malawi for another month.

I first came to SA in October 2004—the same date I started consulting for my current employer. My work requires me to travel to China. My start in SA kept me sexually sober for the next two years, while travelling to China every five weeks, for about two weeks at a time.

Member Reactions to Lust Questionnaire Findings
What do these findings signify about where we are as a fellowship in lust recovery?

Dear Fellow SA Members:
I would like to explain the process of selecting SA Delegates and Trustees. Selection of Delegates begins at the group level. Individual SA groups elect representatives to serve them at their Intergroup, Intergroups elect Representatives to represent them at the Regional Level, and Regions elect Delegates to the General Assembly.

Akron, Ohio—the birthplace of Twelve Step recovery—will host the July 2008 SA/S-Anon International Convention, entitled “Welcome Home.” We who live in Akron are reminded of our rich recovery history simply by driving down a neighborhood street and seeing one of many Twelve Step landmarks.

I’ve been hit hard by lust this last week. When that happens, my only choice is to surrender and turn to my Higher Power. The program becomes really simple after that.

Recently, I have begun to recognize a change over time in the nature and quality of my own desire for sexual sobriety and recovery.

I’ve always had a large ego, which never allowed me to acknowledge that I needed God. I looked down on people of faith, thinking they were foolish or weak, and that they used the notion of God as a crutch.

When I first got into SA recovery, I had been attempting for a month to recover—on my own—using a popular Twelve Step study guide, but I was slipping constantly. I happened upon an online SA meeting and posted my complaints about the triggers that were overwhelming me.

For me, honesty is the basis of a sponsorship relationship. I’m honest with my sponsor right away if a behavior is becoming a problem. I’m honest with her about what situations I must avoid. I also know what I am able to handle without problems.

I’m battling a disease that is much greater than I am, and which needs no rest. My disease is focused on driving a wedge between me and everything I hold dear. It is intent on killing me. It knows that by isolating me it can make me believe its lies—but as long as I have others to talk with, I can keep my addiction at bay.