My name is Gordon and I’m a sexaholic. My whole life was a spiritual program, but I didn’t know it, and I didn’t start growing until I had a spiritual experience, and started learning from my mistakes. In 1960 my Daddy passed away and I figured he died of a broken heart, and I couldn’t handle it, and I ended up three times in the strong room of the Marine Hospital. I was drowning it with alcohol, and the third time they wound up sending me to the nuthouse.

One of the greatest gifts I have received from Higher Power in my nearly five years of sobriety and recovery in SA has been my new-found ability to date. I’m glad that it didn’t happen how or with whom I wanted because that never worked for me before and I’m certain it wouldn’t work now.

I’m writing to you to raise some issues that have become somewhat of a passion for me—namely same-sex orientation, or behavior. I’ll start by giving you a little of my background. SA started in Melbourne, Australia in December 1992. I knew that SA had something that I wanted. For the first five months there were just three members.

I am a grateful recovering sexaholic. Because of my dad’s death and mother’s illness I came to California to help out and ended up at the North Hollywood SA group, where I found recovery. Halleluiah! I did my First Step with them which was the most healing and surprisingly, the most cleansing experience I’ve ever had in my life. I say surprising because I’m a woman and was greatly outnumbered in the meetings by men!

Bill W. of the Chicago area SA died on July 20, 1994 of a heart attack. He had had dinner with another SA member, and was sober. He was known as a member who was “always there” for people, and served faithfully on the old Advisory Committee.

We are now setting about building a new “house” for SA, that is, a new Central Office as well as a new organizational structure. I would like to share some of my personal feelings and experience with you who are involved in this task.

These 12 suggestions were beneficial and very useful to me and our fellowship. I believe they have helped us to stay focused and committed to working the solution, like the first 100 members of AA did. I thought the fellowship might find it of interest.

SA has been meeting twice a week for 18 months now. By the grace of God, we have a solid core of sobriety and recovery, with two members over 12 months, two over six months, and three over three months. We focus strongly on the literature at each meeting, reading from the White Book the Twelve & Twelve, and the AA Big Book.

We are enjoying the new format and the expanded content of the Essay newsletter. The articles on successful SA meetings (focusing on the solution) and on sponsorship were especially welcomed. They offer constructive suggestions on how to strengthen and enhance our commitment to recovery.

Hi, my name is Marsha F. I am a gratefully recovering lustaholic from Cleveland, Ohio. I have been sexually sober since March of 1990, thanks to the grace of God and this fellowship. I am serving SA as the Corrections Committee (CC) Chairperson. A better description might be “prison coordinator.” The letters from prisoners that are received at Central Office are sent to me. I then attempt to find an SA contact on the “outside” to correspond with the prisoner.

MOTION: Moved that the COOC agrees to move the Central Office from Simi Valley, California. Carried unanimously. (Margo C./Paul S.)

I heartily support your line “…the fact remains that we could make a significant spiritual breakthrough were we to submit to the direction [of a sponsor] and carry it out without questioning.” That’s the key. Until I started doing that (and I only did that because I was desperate, and had begun to see the point) my self-will had me still in its grip. And it’s my self-will that leads me inevitably back to acting out, in some new guise or other.

I became willing to turn my life over to the care of God. My first time was when I first entered the program. Then I finally admitted that it was not up to me to define the bottom line. To really turn over to my sponsor—regular contact, honest sharing of my lust and resentment and regular work on the Steps is my next step.

My name is Mike B. and I’m a sexaholic. I’m writing to share my joy and gratitude for what the fellowship of SA has done and is doing for me. Why am I joyful? I have a reprieve, one day at a time, from my obsession with lust. Also, I’m grateful for the open forum provided in our Essay—much like the A.A. Grapevine. I’ve learned that my way to life, sobriety and recovery is not the only way. I am learning tolerance.

I would like to share a story with the members of this program—some I know, some I will meet and some I may never meet, but I share a common bond with each one of you. We are sexaholics and we care about each other’s sobriety.

I’d like to share something that happened to me after I’d been sexually sober for about seven months. I am just starting to experience life as a recovering sexaholic. Through God’s grace, my soul has been opened to a whole new way of living. At first, it was through not acting out. Then, as I got sober and my sobriety progressed, things began to get more positive. Today less of me is in the problem and more of me is in the solution.

We have begun the New Jersey-Delaware Valley SA Intergroup. Our fifth meeting will take place on May 22, and we are working on having an 800 number for phone inquiries.

I wanted to let you know what’s been happening in London, it’s all very exciting stuff… The meetings have been going very well. We now have five solution meetings going, four of which I am very involved in. I started one on Monday night and we changed the formats at the other meetings and a new meeting was started on Sunday morning, which is really nice.

Need: Often a sponsee will have a problem that does not readily yield to the sponsor’s efforts or is outside his or her knowledge or recovery experience or ability to deal with it. In such cases, there can be great wisdom and breakthrough by bringing the issue to a small, select group of trusted members, together, under God.

Call me every day, regardless of how you feel.