Our situation as a people coming out of sexual slavery is not unlike the story of the people coming out of bondage from Egypt. Years of enslavement brought them to utter despair, crying out to God for help. Through an amazing series of events. they were led out—often kicking and screaming in unbelief—only to find themselves wandering in the wilderness. Free at last, on the outside, they soon discovered the harsh reality that theirs was a spiritual malady inside. The severity of withdrawal brought back the craving for the old way of life.

Dying: Admit I am powerless over lust; that my sex, sexuality, orientation and relational misconnection are unmanageable.

Hi, my name is Mike, and I’m a recovering sexaholic. And I’m grateful to be here sober tonight through God’s grace, and all of you people. A couple of years ago we had Thanksgiving dinner at my house for the first time. My whole family came. I figured I should say something before we all ate, but I knew there were lots of things going on in the family, so I didn’t know quite what to say.

Hi, my name is Roy and I’m a sexaholic. None of you knew this, but all of the speakers got together and designed the perfect program, just so we could all complement each other [laughter].

I’m Harvey, a sexaholic. You know, talking about spirituality as a separate topic here makes me think a great deal about how to talk about spirituality as a separate topic, because all weekend we’ve been talking about spirituality. I was told many years ago, there is no spiritual part of this program, it IS a spiritual program. So in thinking about talking about spirituality, I thought I would share with you some things that have happened recently that to me are the essence of spirituality.

We are now setting about building a new “house” for SA, that is, a new Central Office as well as a new organizational structure. I would like to share some of my personal feelings and experience with you who are involved in this task.

Hello. I’m Harvey A., a sexaholic. I thought of all kinds of openings, but the one I want to say is how much I love my wife. She’s been having to bathe me, she’s been having to drive me, she had to put my socks on. This is a woman who … no woman should have to go through what she went through from my disease.

The Politically Correct Policeman (PCP), loosely defined, is a fellowship junky who considers it his job to flag anything in the literature or at meetings that might embarrass newcomers, minorities, or women. The idea is that no one gets offended. Currently I’m in my 10th year of recovery from Politically Correct Policeman-ship in 12-Step fellowships.

(The following is an extract from a talk given by Roy K. at the Socio-Psychosomatic Clinic in Bad Herrenalb, Germany, in November 1985. Roy’s audience consisted primarily of members of 12-Step Fellowships.)

“Some will be willing to term themselves ‘problem drinkers,’ but cannot endure the suggestion that they are in fact mentally ill. They are abetted in this blindness by a world which does not understand the difference between sane drinking and alcoholism.” (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 33.)
I believe these words apply more to me, the sexaholic, than to me, the alcoholic. I first heard these words in AA—I realized I was an alcoholic before I knew I was a sexaholic—but in sobriety I found it difficult to believe I was mentally ill.

Newcomer comes into the Program: Sees the light. Goes to meetings. Stops acting out. A change takes place, and he or she knows it. Something’s different. There’s a sense of impending joy. There’s recovery in the air, and they get caught up in it. Maybe there’s a way out after all! Starts talking the talk.

Looked at from the outside, nothing appears weirder than SA. When I first heard of it, I laughed out loud. When I heard they were against masturbation and sex before marriage, I just felt sorry for them. (Much like the way I felt at the references to God in the AA Big Book three years earlier.)

The following thoughts came to me recently when I had to observe how newly elected members left the Service Committee after a short period of time because they could not maintain their sobriety. Four members of the old Service Committee did not stand for reelection at this present term of office. The Fellowship elected five new SA friends to take their place. Out of these new Service Committee members, four lost their sobriety and all of them left the Service Committee before the term was over.

I’d like to share something very personal, very much my own experience. It’s a rather recent awareness, and I’m not sure what it all means, except that it’s at the center of my life today.

…We are still having some difficulty, however, with members who accepted the bottom line sobriety definition but continue acting out in other ways. This is particularly so with voyeuristic aspects of their disease as well as concerning relationship preoccupations.

This past August, by the Grace of God, I celebrated my third “birthday” in this life-saving God-inspired program. Ceaseless are the gifts that befall me in recovery. The gifts come in the form of growth (sometimes painful) by learning more about who I am and acceptance of me, defects and all. I made a list of people I thought I had harmed while doing the first four steps and it was quite impressive.

We’re very grateful for Ruth P.’s work in translating the German newsletters into English. The following is an excerpt from their sixth newsletter, dated February:

We may be experiencing something significant in SA. The Maryland Marathon and Mid-Western Regional reports (elsewhere in this issue) state that the most powerful session of the day (October 18th and 4th) was when, under example of the leader, those members who chose, “gave away their top plate.” As far as we know, this first took place in the Warm Beach, Washington convention last year. In each of these three cases, it was reported by several to have been the most potent or meaningful experience of the get-together.

R.K., of Simi Valley, California, writes, “…Speaking for myself, I see that the great key to my serenity and recovery and sobriety is anchored in the realization of my powerlessness over my lust. This powerlessness — just as true today as it was nine years and ten months ago — is what energizes my surrender of my lust and other defects to the only One who has the Remedy.

I’ve been rediscovering the second half of the First Step lately. My emotional life is unmanageable.