Lust Is Beat
Lust is ugliness disguised as grace. Lust is disgust staring into my face. Lust possesses my entire living space. Lust takes all my hopes to erase. Lust removes the beauty from life. Lust fills the room with unbearable strife.
Time to Live and Give
Dear Porn, I gotta say that this is the weirdest thing for me to be doing right now, but I wanna thank you for lotsa stuff. Y’know, we haven’t been in contact now for like 126 days (but who’s counting), and I’m not gonna lie—I DO miss you. A whole lot. See? I even count the days! That’s how important you are were in my life!! And although I don’t want you in my life anymore, there was a time that you were crucial to my survival. We’ve been through a lot together and, although it’s time to say goodbye, I really must say thank you first.
My History With Lust
For me, sexual lust started as a simple game that I played with the kid next door. I never imagined that such a game could develop into a "way of life." My family paid more attention to my beautiful, smart sister, and to attract their attention, I started stealing from them to get more attention. This didn’t work. I didn’t know how to say, “I’m here! See me! Love me! I need my father to hold me!”
My Journey with Step 11
I have been following a journey all my adult life toward what now, as a sober SA member, I think of as Step 1—and I am now almost 60. I am moved to write this article by The Real Connection reading for today, which at the time of writing is April 7. It describes a method of meditation which the writer felt could be useful to other members, that is, in silence paying attention to my breathing, and focusing on my breath as it goes in and out of my nose and mouth, letting go of my thoughts as they arise.
He Is in Charge
I attend the regular meetings of my home group every week, but currently, except for me, there are only male fellows there. However, as a “woman and a sexual minority,” I have been accepted into this group and feel like I belong and have a connection.
A Truly Blessed Addition
When Zoom meetings started I was blessed to attend one or more meetings per day including for the first time a women’s only meeting. I didn’t have much experience attending meetings with other SA sisters. It was beautiful.
Balancing Boundaries
As a young girl, I dreamed of becoming a scientist. But life took a sharp turn when instead I became a lust addict. Accepting my struggle wasn't easy. What I thought was innocent indulgence in pornography and fantasy spun out of control, and I came to feel completely powerless. I stumbled across SA on the Internet, but I was still under age, and I had to wait until I turned 18 to join the Program. And living in India, where we didn’t yet have face-to-face meetings, meant I had to rely solely on online support.
Practical Tools for Mixed SA Meetings
I came into Sexaholics Anonymous at age 31. I am 55 today. I've seen a lot of women come and go. Based on behaviors I’ve experienced during those 25 years, I’d like to share some practical recovery tools how I treat the opposite sex at our mixed meetings:
Editor’s Corner
About a year ago, I was asked to invite members to write articles for another ESSAY edition about women in SA. A few months later, talking about it during breakfast at the International Convention in Krakow, Poland, someone suggested that it would be more interesting to make an issue about women and men finding sobriety together. We are all equal in the Fellowship, and we need each other’s fellowship to achieve recovery as the White Book states in its chapter on “Mixed Meetings” (SA 178-179).
SA CFC
Hi, I'm Karin W., a woman sexaholic, and on 27 June '23, I landed in SA. My sobriety date is Sept 1, 2023. I have a SA in-person home group, attend Zoom SA meetings, work the 12 Steps with a SA sponsor and do SA Correctional Facilities Committee (CFC) service work. Also, I'm committed to 'no' dating or getting into a relationship for a year, minimum. Before SA, I wanted to die.
