A reflection on 30 years of working the Program reveals a life worth living.
Thirty years ago today, August 8th, 1995, I walked into a church, sat down in a room full of strangers, and said: “My name is Bill and I’m…” Thirty years ago today, I started on a journey called Recovery.

SA helped her see more clearly how she was holding herself back from healing fully.
I haven’t taken much time as of late to consider the role that trauma plays in my consistent relapses. I was abused sexually by my father at 13, and I had sexually abusive relationships from ages 19-22. I entered SA in July of 2021 without realizing my last relationship had ended with me being sexually assaulted. The brain is a funny organ like that. Through the fog of addiction to porn and my brain trying to protect me, the pieces didn’t fall into place until a friend showed me an article that described my ex perfectly, and that final puzzle piece of sexual abuse clicked.

She found the freedom to choose in sobriety.
Sobriety is a gift that your wise decisions give you. Sobriety is not limited to stopping sexual relations with another person or with yourself—that is only the beginning. Sobriety is having sanity in the face of life. It is exercising the self-control that already resides within you, that was given to you by your Higher Power to choose between what is good for you and what harms you.

With his sponsor’s help, he learned to deal with shame and guilt.
As we persist, a brand-new kind of confidence is born, and the sense of relief at finally facing ourselves is indescribable (Twelve and Twelve 50).

His gratitude list was the hammer that crushed his guilt and shame.
I didn’t think I was fearful. I was a strong, tough male who had gotten in fights before and played contact sports like football, hockey, and rugby. So I thought that I wasn’t afraid of anything.

An elder member in SA helped him see that he was addicted to himself.
“You’re the most arrogant [person] I have ever met!” Although a more colorful word was used instead of “person,” this statement still saved my life.

SA taught him that letting go of guilt was not only okay, but necessary
Fear and shame were awaiting my entrance into the world. My grandmother was harassed and bullied for her parents’ financial struggles, language, skin color, and country of origin. So she resolved to protect her children from the same fate by refusing to pass down her native language, traditions, customs, or history, and insisting that they marry spouses who embodied her idealized notion of an acceptable national archetype. My mother’s inherited shame about her background then manifested itself by overcompensating for her own perceived shortcomings. This included raising children who embodied her idealized notion of success: good grades, etiquette, careers, marriages, etc.

A powerful practice that prevents him from reverting to his past ways.
Today everything felt serendipitous.
I met a couple who were splendiferous.
Ladyewell, near Preston, a Holy Shrine.
I met a couple who gladdened my mind.

A letter of experience, strength, and hope to encourage the Fellowship.
Dear friends,
There is a strong message that was recently shared in our West African SA fellowship. It comes from Tradition Five in the White Book, page 209: “Each group (SA meeting) has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the sexaholic who still suffers.” There is a deep meaning in this Tradition.

“He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave.”
My name is Levi and I’m a recovering sexaholic in central Nebraska in the USA. I have been sexually sober since July 20, 2017.

Our next edition’s theme is “Rigorous Honesty.” The first words in chapter five of the Big Book tell us that recovery is not possible without the capacity to be rigorously honest. What a wonderful gift to know that we can choose honesty for today, and if we are powerless over dishonesty, we can ask God to remove our dishonesty and gain honesty by helping others. We can also seek outside help. The Steps teach me the process by which I can learn to become aware of the truth and to share that truth with others.

Fear prevented me from experiencing healthy guilt. Guilt tells me I have done wrong. Fear also prevented me from feeling healthy shame. Shame is a slight embarrassment that others may see my wrongs. But fear primarily stopped me from facing toxic guilt and toxic shame.

Peter shares in his article that initial guilt is a healthy response for him. However, shame and lingering guilt were very detrimental to his long-term recovery. He needed to understand how these harmed his recovery and what he could do to move out of guilt and shame as soon as possible—so that he could continue on his journey.

“He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave.”
My name is Levi and I’m a recovering sexaholic in central Nebraska in the USA. I have been sexually sober since July 20, 2017.

Dear ESSAY,
I am an incarcerated person in California. In the past, several of my fellow incarcerated persons and I have held SA meetings on a regular basis, and I’ve actually had a sponsor before.
However, over the years, things have kind of fizzled out, and we no longer have our meetings, mainly due to members being dispersed throughout the system and some of the participants having been paroled.

How the semicolon etched into his skin saved him from ending his life.
Bang! Bang! Bang! “Police! We have a search warrant!” It happened when I was 52, in the third decade of my marriage and teaching career. I carried with me lies and a lust-filled lens on life. Throughout my life, I had crossed so many lines that I had fried my moral compass, which led to a continuation of my sick habits. However, the moment I heard the banging on my door at 6:00 a.m., and an officer announcing “search warrant,” I knew that my fried moral compass had just exploded in my face. I wasn’t surprised, but I was devastated and relieved.

God removed her fear and replaced it with faith with works.
My whole life, I’d been so bound by fear, I’d lost hope for freedom. Through working the Steps, a brilliant light at the end of a long, cold, and dark tunnel suddenly shone forth with a comforting warmth. At each step, however, fears continued to loom. Picking up the simple tool of a Fear-to-Faith inventory helped point me back toward God and the Step Two and Three solution

SA kepted him sober while therapy helped him heal from trauma and shame.
My wife discovered my addiction for the first time before we were married. I promised if she gave me another chance, I would spend the rest of my life making it up to her. That turned out to be a lie. She discovered my addiction for the second time after I got myself into a legal situation. I sought professional help. Unfortunately, the professional treated my addiction only as a compulsion, and he never recommended a Twelve-Step program. Within months after finishing therapy, I began acting out again.

Working the Steps on fear allowed her to take action under God’s guidance.
I’ve been married for almost 50 years. My husband has been unbelievably cruel, but I’ve been afraid to leave. My biggest fear has been that I wouldn’t be able to support myself, that I’d be homeless.

He experienced a transformation from SA that helps him see is true identity.
The Problem is not the problem!
When I came to SA in 1999 due to personal, family and relational crises, my feelings were all over the place. I really did not have feelings except anger. I knew exactly what to do and how to quickly solve all the issues in my life and quickly get back to “normal” again, playing the game of Happy Family.