A sexaholic’s life can be very difficult and stressful, especially when a full scale war is going on in my country. It’s so hard to keep sexually and emotionally sober. But it’s possible. So I created a few simple rules for myself, based on 12 step program spiritual principles.

I was blessed with the opportunity to join the SA Fellowship of the Spirit more than eight years ago. When I then joined my first meeting, my sole motive was breaking free from the prison of lust, in the shade of which I had been living since my early teenage years.

I am Samar G. from Egypt. I am a sexaholic. My active addiction has a long history. I tried so many things in my life. My suffering started when I was young. I was abused by one of my relatives.

27 years ago I walked into a room full of men … what did I expect? I thought I would see people that looked dirty and secretive. Thankfully my expectations were completely wrong. I saw a room full of ordinary men just like I might see at work or out with friends.

Remembering my life in the lust world, I still feel terror and despair—the feelings which I had been living with everyday—before coming to the program. For many years, being addicted to compulsive sexual behaviors and thoughts was the biggest and worst problem in my life.

When we become sexually sober, life doesn’t stop happening. The WB comments on this: “… it is because and within these very problems that the program works! The program doesn’t work in a vacuum; it only works in the day-to-day ebb and flow of our lives. Trial, tribulation, and pain are the soil in which the steps can germinate, take root, and find fruition in our lives.” (SA 74)

I recently listened to a recording where Mike C. talked about the gift of recovery and what it looks like now. It was powerful to hear him share some of the things he had been able to do since getting sober that he would never have been able to do before. It was beautiful.

The author of “Obstacles to Emotional Sobriety” describes some of the blocks many of us have from reaching “emotional sobriety.” Here are some questions to consider.

My name is Raphael S., and I’m a grateful, recovering sexaholic. I’ve been sober by the grace of God and the help of all of you in this program of SA since April 7th, 2019. My homegroup is Crystal City, Virginia, USA.

Soeben habe ich eine Lektion in Sachen Kapitulation gelernt wo ich es am wenigsten erwartet hätte – bei der Sponsorschaft. Ich dachte, dass ich, wenn ich nach den Grundsätzen der 12 Schritte und Traditionen arbeitete, vor meinen Charakterfehlern sicher sei.

Lorsque je suis arrivé aux SA, j’ai demandé à un homme qui avait plusieurs années de sobriété d’être mon parrain. Quelques mois plus tard, alors que j’étais prêt à commencer l’étape 4, j’ai découvert qu’il n’avait jamais travaillé les Étapes.

Depuis quatre ans, je suis au service des femmes qui ont décidé de changer leur vie avec l’aide des Douze Étapes. Au cours de cette période, j’ai commencé à travailler les Étapes avec plus de 30 femmes.

Je viens d’apprendre une leçon sur la capitulation à l’endroit où je m’y attendais le moins : le parrainage. Je pensais qu’en travaillant par principe, sous la direction des 12 étapes et traditions, j’étais à l’abri de mes défauts de caractère.

J’ai commencé à parrainer lorsque j’étais sobre depuis presque 18 mois et que je travaillais sur la sixième étape. J’étais hésitant car il n’y avait, et il n’y a toujours, aucune directive officielle sur la façon de parrainer, mais mon parrain m’a dit qu’il était temps pour moi de m’engager.

The AA Big Book says, “If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through.” (AA 83) Of course I see how many promises came true during the online inter-regional convention hosted by the Europe and Middle East Region (EMER) and the Persian-Speaking Region (PSR) on April 8 and 9, 2022.

The first SA Group in Italy began five years ago when two people from different paths met. Motivated by a common desire to share their Twelve Step recovery experiences, they went about trying to help others recover from lust addiction.

When I came into the program, it was suggested I find a sponsor. I was told a sponsor would help me one-on-one to go through the Steps, and I should either take someone who meets “I want what he has’’ or simply look around at the end of the meeting for the first person who raises his hand when asked “Who is available to sponsor?”

Our White Book says, “I got a sponsor (a friend in the program to help me work the Steps) and began working on me.” (SA 23) As a sexaholic, I need to find right relations with others and God, and where best to start but with my sponsor, who can mirror back recovery and help me with the Twelve Step program.

It is difficult to describe in words the feeling of gratitude to God for me to be a sponsor. It is a great honor, responsibility, and joy. I want this process of transmitting the message of recovery from one woman to another to never stop. I believe that sponsorship is the most effective recovery tool in the SA Program.

After more than 40 years of drowning in a vast ocean of sexaholism that has a bottomless abyss, I was relieved to finally have a rescue swimmer (my sponsor) swim to my aid. I had the desperation of a drowning man and listened and followed his suggestions without question. The spiritual toolkit he was laying at my feet had immediate results.