A few years ago I was having lunch with a sponsee while he shared his Fifth Step with me. One thing he struggled with, he said, was perfectionism, a character defect—rooted in a deep sense of inferiority—that he felt his father had passed on to him.

I was on my way to an SA International Convention, less than a half an hour from home, when the traffic started to back up. I was already fighting a resentment about the traffic problems I usually encounter when I drive to this particular city. I was becoming more and more frustrated, certain I would be late. I had committed to speak on a 3:00 p.m. panel discussion of how to develop a deeper relationship with my Higher Power!

In the years of my addiction, I liked to play in chess tournaments—but my self-worth was attached to how I fared in a tournament. When I won, I felt great. When I lost I felt like a failure. I would feel depressed, inadequate, and insecure. I believed I did not belong at a chess tournament; that the members should revoke my membership and ban me from the game for life.

I was raised in an alcoholic home that was fraught with violence, incest, and molestation. In the past six months, my older brother and my twin sister both passed away. They were finally at peace (although they never found recovery).

During my years in SA, I’ve been both a sponsor and a sponsee. My drawing below is about both of those experiences.

I’m Tom, a recovering sexaholic, grateful for seven years of sobriety—although as they say, I’m never grateful enough! I know that I must continue to work the SA program.

I’m grateful that I was led to SA about a year before I got married. Otherwise, I believe I would be in a horrible place today, and my family might have been torn apart. But even though I found SA before I got married, my behavior caused my family much grief.

I am a low-bottom sex drunk who has been sober now for 29 years. Yet today I’m writing about a most glorious spiritual journey that I only recently made. The purpose of my journey was to bring the message of recovery and the miracle of my sobriety to fellow sexaholics throughout Europe.

I’m Michael T., grateful to be sexually sober since April 10, 2011. SA has given me a better life than I could ever have imagined. I no longer fear everyone and everything. I no longer regret the past; I use my past as a tool to be helpful to others. I can practice patience and tolerance, and be a part of society. I learned all of these things from SA.

We are grateful to our members for our excellent 2012 financial results. We finished the year on target compared to budget! Five years ago, the fellowship used Prudent Reserve to meet payroll. Since then, members have stepped up to meet our needs and replenish the Prudent Reserve.

One of the most exciting service opportunities I’ve found in SA is my participation in Skype meetings. I belong to two groups—one on Monday at 12:30 p.m. and one on Saturday at 7 a.m., both New York time. We have members from the US, Europe, Asia, Guam, and Tasmania!

Dear Friends in SA,
Greetings from the new group in Nairobi! Five years ago, we tried to start an SA group in Kenya, but it only lasted two months, with just one regular member. Then in May 2012, an SA meeting started again and we have been alive and well for the past eight months!

SA’s International Committee (IC) supports international loners and fosters the development of SA Groups, Intergroups, and Regions outside of North America. Our committee members are scattered around the globe. Following are some of our activities.

Following are five things I try to do every day before 5 p.m.—or “5B45.” This is the recipe that I developed for Sobriety:

I’ve been a sexaholic most likely since the age of 11. I’m 64 now. I’ve been in recovery, through the grace of God and SA, for almost 16 years. For reasons too long to go into, my sobriety over the last two years has been spiritually weak.

After more than 50 years of addiction to lust, I discovered the SA fellowship about 18 months ago. I can’t say it’s been any easier since that first meeting to deal with my defects and all the harm they’ve caused; but after years and years of half-hearted attempts at “controlling” myself (more accurately minimizing the harm I’ve done, justifying it, or simply wallowing in self-pity), I’m convinced that SA and working the Steps will lead me to recovery from this illness.

Since I first discovered masturbation before puberty, it has been like a drug for me. It was my drug of choice: I used it when I was tense, happy, or feeling anything or nothing. I used masturbation to wake up, go to sleep, speed up or slow down, or to pass the time away.

Newcomers often ask, “How do you get lust out of your head?” My honest reply is, “I have no earthly idea.” You see, for me, I have never been able to get lust out of my head. I’ve tried. I’ve tried really hard. I tried for three decades and I failed. I have failed every time. Then I noticed something.

I once worked in a nursing home, with senior residents who were trying to cope with the limitations of aging. At times many of them became disillusioned with their physical and mental limitations. One woman in particular had to go for dialysis two or three times a week.

Recently, I volunteered to lead a meeting in my home group on the topic of Tradition One. I felt quite confident of my ability to explain the Tradition. After all, I’ve been sober in SA for six years (I’m a member of another Twelve-Step fellowship)—and I can recite the Traditions by heart!