Response to Roy K.’s Letter and Papers to Tri-State NY and June Essay
• 24 supporting letters and calls
• 3 letters (no calls) against

1. Evidence from individual recovery. Enough time has elapsed now for us to begin to see some history. Take an actual case history: A man comes into SA in the early Eighties and immediately is “hot SA.” Becomes a mover and shaker in his SA area. After a while, he decides to start some serious research in “committed relationships,” and in his eloquence and fervor (and sexaholic need) actually starts putting doubts in the minds of other members about SA sobriety.

There’s a program saying that goes, “The road narrows, but the vistas get more beautiful.” This is true not only in personal recovery but in the life of our fellowship. There have always been tough roads to travel in SA, but they’ve led to new and more sublime vistas. We are at another such juncture in the road today. Some hard choices will be made, but we can, in faith of how we’ve been led from above before, be assured that what lies beyond is not only what we need but leads to greater fulfillment and joy.

I have decided to sever all direct administrative connection with the SA Central Office as of this Chicago 1991 convention. My separation from the Central Office at this time may seem to be sudden, but the Advisory Committee and many others have known for a couple of years that I have been moving toward this action.

Ever since our first German semiannual SA Convention in May 1986, we have basically applied the same methods and guidelines in our Service Committee. At the business meeting during the Convention all SA members with more than 30 days sobriety join in electing those who volunteer to be on the Service Committee.

I just want to thank the fellowship of SA for a recent birthday. No, it was not another year of sexual sobriety (though I’m grateful for the five years that I have), but an ordinary “navel” birthday whereby I turned 30 years old. And why am I grateful to the fellowship of SA for this particular birthday? Because I honestly don’t believe I would be alive had I not found these marvelous programs.

…I went into treatment for alcoholism, but soon found out I also had a sexual addiction. What a relief to find out I was a sexaholic, that I was not crazy, that I was not a pervert, gay, morally corrupt, bisexual or any of the other names that I called myself.

During the past 2 years I’ve been an active member of SA and able to maintain my sobriety one day at a time. All credit goes to my Higher Power and the principles and fellowship of SA.

Now that you have gladly welcomed me into the fellowship of SA, I feel very happy to walk with you in the Happy Destiny of sexual sobriety. Of course I have my own story to tell, a story of progressive defeat by lust since the early years of my childhood until that bright day when I admitted my powerlessness and turned my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him.

…We are growing slowly, we gain and lose members regularly, but we are still here after five years. Thank you for your support.

Our group started out with just three people two years ago and we are now a regular 8-10 members with 2 meetings a week. We have one, two and three years’ sobriety with many members struggling but who keep coming back. God knows how we all need each other and we strongly adhere to the SA definition of sobriety and the traditional meaning of marriage.

…Please find enclosed a contribution from the Saturday SA group in Portland. This is the proceeds from our second collection that is taken at every meeting. I hope everything is going well at the Central Office. We are grateful for the caring service you give to the Fellowship.

We total 7 people in our group, with an average attendance of 4, and we adhere strongly to the definition of sexual sobriety as: no sex with oneself or others outside of marriage in the traditional sense. We are struggling, but feel that it’s worth it.

Very seldom in Essay have I seen contributions from any of the original groups in the Los Angeles area. The Long Beach meeting was one of the original three meetings in the Los Angeles area — along with the West Los Angeles and Alhambra — and has been through many changes in the past 7 or 8 years.

At the Chicago Conference, Roy K. announced that he was severing his administrative connection with the SA Central Office. His reasons for doing so are listed in “Roy Steps Away From the Central Office,” one of three papers he submitted to the Fellowship at the Conference, copies of which appear in Box 300 with this issue of Essay.

[The following are all responses received by the Central Office to the article “SA and Sexual Abuse” on page 20 of the October 1990 issue of Essay. We hope no response was omitted; the CO was in transition due to Nan’s leaving.—Ed.]

In but a few weeks it will be ten years from the time Box 300 was first opened (June of 1981) and that first wave of desperate letters started pouring in asking for help. When the Chicago conference rolls around in July, it will have been ten years from the historic meeting in our garage where SAs from over the U.S. joined together for the first time and came to one mind and spirit in formulating the principles of our SA Program.

My story is very similar to many I have read and heard in SA. I was sexually obsessive and compulsive for over 50 years. And my disease got progressively worse until I finally found myself living in a flop house hotel, losing my job, frequenting porno shops and flicks, and having lost my family and friends. In desperation, I called SA and got help.

As of February 1991, I started an SA group here in Blackwell. I am very grateful for the four members of SA at Wichita, KS for coming to Blackwell and helping me to get started. I am very grateful for SA and my recovery. I’ve been in recovery since June of 1988 when I found out I was a sexaholic and started attending SA.

Sorry for being so long in payment of the White Book—it is some heavy book. The group is going well. We have four regular members who are really working hard on their sobriety.