At the Madrid convention I was prompted to share one of my early surrender experiences relating to Roy K.’s 18 suggested ways of surrendering lust hits and gaining daily progressive victory over lust.

I have met newcomers at SA meetings who have bristled at the description of sexual addiction as a disease. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) does not list it. The CDC doesn’t recognize it. It’s missing from disease lists everywhere. One newcomer said to me defiantly, “It’s not a disease. You’re just a terrible person.”

Over three sober decades in SA there have been quite a few pieces of “bad news” for we sexaholics. They all arise, like our entire program, from our experience, strength and hope. Each issue of Essay under Practical Tools we’ll share some pieces of “bad news”:
• If you’ve ever been sober for 24 hours, you have all the tools you need to be sober the rest of your life – One Day At A Time.

Although I’ve been sexually sober since August 4, 2018, lust dreams have been part of my life since I discovered masturbation at age 12.

If I want a better relationship with someone or something (father, mother, wife, son, daughter, sponsor, golf clubs or friends) – in other words anyone or anything, what would I do? I would spend MORE time with them!! The key to being present to have more time with them is to “improve my conscience contact with God……” To improve my relationship with God I gotta spend time with him.

El eterno descontento con mi vida es parte de mi enfermedad. No me hallo, mi vida no me gusta. Necesito algo más. Esa enorme expectativa que tenía o que tengo (éxito mundano, reconocimiento, pompa y honor, etc.) parece ser la causa de que me sienta vacío.

The SA Correctional Facilities Committee has seen a dramatic increase in the number of prisoners needing to be sponsored by mail. This is due to SACFC outreach, etc. We currently have a backlog of some 40 sponsees. We have an urgent need for sponsors.

In I’ll Stand By The Door he talks about the men who “stood at the door” to welcome and guide him into sobriety and recovery and eventually to found Sexaholics Anonymous.

To Essay:
I just wanted to write and express my thanks to you for putting Dick O.’s story Free As A Bird in the online Essay May 2018 and on www.sa.org. What an honor! I only wish Dick were alive to see it.

Dear Essay readers:
This issue of Essay includes many stories on “Open Mindedness.” Our next issue in August 2019 will focus on SA At 40 Years! Please send in any stories or short articles on your experience with SA At 40 Years! Future topics are October, 2019: Freedom Behind Bars; December, 2019 “Miracles In Recovery” Let us hear from you at essay@sa.org

Sexaholics Anonymous so often is just plain confusing! Here are some challenges we face in SA recovery:

For many sexaholics English is a second language. I am not a language expert. However, I have noticed that issues arise for SAs using English in readings and discussion. A person’s mother tongue is their heart and gut language. When talking about childhood issues, family of origin issues, in my opinion, this is the language that needs to be used.

In 2018 the SA Board of Trustees established the SA Archives and History Committee [A&HC] to collect and catalog records of the origin and development of the SA Fellowship. The A&HC mission is: “to preserve the history of SA, to document the memories of our members and make this information accessible to SA members and other researchers [in order] to provide a context for understanding of SA’s progression, principles and traditions.”

It was a huge success, especially since we organized it in a month’s time frame. We had 133 people registering with around 30 people at each of the meetings. We had people from all over the world attend.

The Irish Fellowship enjoyed numerous meetings and workshops hosted by long term member Dave T. from USA January/February 2019.

I found myself fully confronted with this question back when I started working the Steps in earnest with a sponsor. Up until that time, I had been willing to settle for periodic “lengths” of sobriety. Because I’m an addict and quite insane when I’m lusting, I had figured that was good enough. I believed I could fight against lust.

How many times have I made that declaration? Hundreds, maybe thousands of times I have said those exact words. Recently I watched a TV survival show where 12 contestants were dumped in the ocean within swimming distance of various islands. They were required to write journals before and during the show. Everyone wrote some form of “I got this” at the beginning.

I love being in a program that cultivates both spirituality and self-development. I crave closeness to God and this program has helped me to find a spirituality that really satisfies, in addition to leading me back to the religion of my upbringing. I have found a God Who is loving and all-powerful, as described in Alcoholics Anonymous, and Who wants to have a relationship with me.

My name is Roy and I’m a sexaholic. I’m standing here in the West LA Saturday night meeting and I’m talking to a large group of sex drunks. This is where the first meeting of Sexaholics Anonymous (I think in the world) took place in this room on January 25, 1981. Through this recording I’ll be also talking to the international convention.

The reason why lust and sexual acting out are so attractive to me is because they are so very powerful at what they do in me. Initially, they were my “solutions” to other problems. Eventually I became addicted to them, and they failed to be solutions and became their own problems. But I didn’t have an alternative “solution” that would not enslave me just as lust and sexual acting out had done.