I’m part of a small men’s Step study group that has met every two weeks now for a few years. We’ve worked through several Twelve Step workbooks. This exercise has served to deepen our programs, our spirituality, our accountability, and our ability to be intimate and truly vulnerable with each other.

Recently, I was challenged to write a gratitude list of 10 things that I am grateful for in my recovery. Among the items I listed was the word “HOPE.” It was the only word on my list that I had written in all caps.

Early in my sobriety, I heard a member share that we will never be free from the temptation to lust, but we can gain progressive victory over it. I wasn’t comfortable with that statement for a long time. I wondered, “Can we never be free from the temptation?” Today I believe that, although we will never be cured, we can experience progressive freedom from temptation, just like progressive victory over lust.

Ever since I was eight years old, when I began looking though adult magazines, I was hooked. My life was filled with fantasy, masturbation, pornography, TV, videos, and trying to connect with girls. In my college years, alcohol and marijuana seemed to go well with my lust.

It had been a while since I heard the song “From A Distance” on the radio. After hearing it last week, I can’t get the tune out of my mind!

In September 2007, I lost 18 years of SA sobriety—or so I thought. Looking back, I see that I was hardly ever sober, not in my mind anyway. I had thought that all I needed to do was to not act out, and I had done that since 1989—a few months before joining SA.

My sponsor once suggested that I look up Twelve Step words in a dictionary. That request unleashed my interest in recovery-related words and led me to create several drawings illustrating the Twelve Steps.

Arriving in SA, all my powers spent, I entered a new world: a world where meetings, the White Book, the Twelve Steps of SA, a sponsor, and fellow sexaholics were already there waiting for me. Through these tools I received the gift of sobriety.

I’m a sexaholic, married to the man who wrote the previous story. My husband is serving time in prison for crimes he committed while active in his sexaholism. Our story is one of hope. We’ve been told that we will never be a family again because of society’s laws and judgments—but we choose to see our family differently.

My life has been a succession of moments, the next one always building on the results of this one, this one having resulted from the fruits of the last one, good or bad. In the past, I failed to understand the impact my decisions would have on my attitudes, habits, cravings, and expectations.

My name is Debbie. I’m a recovering sexaholic, sober since November 1, 2006. Because of the fellowship of SA, I’ve learned to live happy, joyous, and free today, as described in the AA Big Book (AA 133).

The fellowship again fell short of budget projections for revenue from contributions—not surprising in light of the current economy. Catching this trend early in 2009, the Finance Committee, Trustees, and SAICO discussed reducing staff hours and cancelling salary increases.

The CFC is planning to print a newsletter composed mostly of writings by SA members who are incarcerated. Usually prisoners in different facilities are forbidden to communicate with each other. The idea is for the CFC to act as a central receiving location for prisoner-produced articles.

Dear Fellow SA Members,
SA’s Common Welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on SA unity. Unity is the most cherished quality of our fellowship.

Although we knew he was sick—stricken with an aggressive cancer—the death of SA founder Roy K. in September 2009 was a shock to us all in SA. The Editors sent a message through the Delegates: Would a grieving Fellowship care to comment?

I’ve been a member of an SA group in Albuquerque for the last two years. I have also been in therapy for three years. I have had my addiction since I was a teenager, manifesting itself in several types of pornography, then moving into prostitution and more recently adult theatres and Internet pornography.

An important person in my religious tradition who lived at the turn of the 20th century was known to pray a “Litany of Humility” each day. I learned of this prayer long before I entered the program. Like many formal prayers I’ve known and prayed through the years, this one has gained deeper meaning for me since I received a new primary purpose.

Before I could truly work Step Eleven, I had to first find the God of my understanding. This was not easy for me. Even though I had worked the previous ten Steps with my sponsor, I realized that I still was not able to have conscious contact with God in any meaningful way.

In completing my Third Step, I followed a suggestion to write a letter to my Higher Power. I thought the suggestion a bit unusual until I realized that by taking Step Three, I would be in effect entering into a covenant of sorts with my Higher Power, and that a letter would be an effective way to document my side of the agreement.

In the Big Book story “Acceptance Was the Answer” (407), the author notes that his own home is the most difficult place to work his program (419), and that he eventually had to work the Steps a second time, focusing exclusively on his marriage. Following are two examples that show how specific Steps have helped me become the kind of spouse I want to be.