Sexaholics Anonymous reaffirms itself as a fellowship of men and women in an SA Meeting Participation Statement that emphasizes that a “…spirit of inclusivity is fundamental to the identity of an SA group.” For valid reasons, women are a minority in SA meetings. Many meetings have no women at all. This makes it very difficult for a female newcomer to feel welcome in SA, even though she needs the SA program every bit as much as her male counterpart.

En mi experiencia me he dado cuenta que SA es como un río. Cuando un compañero nuevo llega, el río quiere arrastrarlo a la recuperación. Pero nadie tiene motivos puros al llegar, como se dice en el libro Blanco. Por consiguiente, el compañero a veces se resiste.

Take the $10 check a prisoner sent to SA International Central Office in appreciation for the White Book he was sent.

Preliminary third quarter results were better than expected, due to a large gift from the German speaking region. We thank them for their generosity.

In Drunk on Rage the writer examines his reaction to being honked at and receiving an immediate amends.

Dear Essay,
Hello, recently we had the best Monday Noon meeting in quite a while here in Akron, Ohio. All due to the beautiful share [in the October 2019 Essay] of Wendi from Colorado! Her topic was “Practicing the Principles.”

Dear Essay readers:
This issue of Essay includes many stories on “Miracles In Recovery.” Our next issue in February, 2020 will focus on “Sober Dating.” Please send in any stories or short articles on your experience with dating experiences in Sexaholics Anonymous. Future topics include: Travel and SA Recovery in May, 2020 and Lost in Translations in August, 2020. Let us hear from you at essay@sa.org

In December, 1994 the SA International Central Office moved from Simi Valley, California to Nashville, Tennessee. Roy K. traveled to Nashville to help hire a new administrator. Our first administrator left shortly thereafter due to a death in her family. On August 28, 1995, Kay Shotwell began working as SAICO administrator.

The SA Ontario Intergroup is working in collaboration with the S-Anon Ontario Central Intergroup to present “True North 2020: Happy, Joyous and Free,” the SA and S-Anon International Conventions in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, on July 24-26, 2020. We invite you to join us here in Toronto to take part in this inspirational recovery event.

In 1992 I founded SA in Melbourne. I immersed myself in service, Step work, sponsorship, conference recordings, local and international conferences. At age 35 I began a period of prolonged sobriety. At some deep level I knew it was unsustainable. Even with all my inventory work, I sensed there was something I had trouble identifying deep inside. After 8 years I lost my sobriety and struggled for the next 10 years.

For twenty-four hours in late November over 1,800 people signed up for the third global internet-based marathon for sexaholics. Participants used over 3,000 different devices to connect on one of the three channels provided. Channel A hosted twenty-four diverse speakers sharing on a wide range of topics (listed below).

Why are the 12 Steps in the order they are? To me, coming into SA, they just seemed so random. I didn’t care. I just did what I was told to do to get sober. I’m of the mind that it is NOT critical to understand why the Steps are the way they are at the start. But, as the Step 9 promise goes, “we will suddenly understand situations which used to baffle us.” I think that goes for the mysteries of the Steps too as we progress in sobriety.

I am ready in Step 7 to ask God to remove another shortcoming and in Step 9 make amends to someone I hurt. I was ready with resentment and anger when my spouse opposed me or came to me with a complaint. In truth, it was never the content of her words but the temperature of my lust fever that determined my response because I wasn’t getting what I wanted.

It happened again. I was cooking the family meal and suddenly an attractive woman I know came to mind. I started thinking about her personality qualities and wondering if maybe God would want me to ask her out. It wasn’t lust, I thought — I was only thinking about her personality!

The other morning I was going out for a run. A neighborhood next to ours has a hill coming down to a stop sign. I have run past this entrance several times and noticed that people tend to drive down the hill at a high rate of speed. This leads them to roll through the stop sign without stopping.

I’m listening to a podcast with one former Heavyweight boxing champion, and a new Heavyweight champion. The two boxers are talking about how the younger man’s life has changed since becoming the new champion. Several things are discussed like the money, proving doubters wrong, all the work they both put in to achieve that title, and, of course, the excitement of the fans!

I joined the committee to plan our semi-annual retreat because I have a lot of experience planning these events. But this time I stepped aside to let others organize it. The theme was chosen over my objections, as I preferred the first idea they came up with. I let that go. They chose to not pick breakout topics, but allow the leaders to choose their topics when they signed up. I didn’t think this was a good idea. But, I let that go.

Time has been an underrated and overlooked tool in my sobriety. When I first came into SA I was struck with the overwhelming difficulty of staying sober. Day by day sexual sobriety was a tremendous struggle. I slipped countless times in my first ten months.

This short piece was performed during the variety show at the SA international convention in Seattle last summer. We weren’t sure what to call it — Poem? Spoken word? Rap? Chant? Prayer? Still not sure.

I attended my first SA meeting in 1988 in Nashville, Tennessee. At the time, Roy had nine years of sexual sobriety. Back then, the definition of “old-timer” was three years of sobriety. Roy was years ahead of the “new” old-timers. When Roy died September, 2009 at the age of 82, he had more than 25 years of sexual sobriety. His life and his sobriety were a gift to us all.