At SAICO in Tennessee, we are entering the summer season with a positive, upbeat outlook on life. The weather is better and things are looking up. The deficit that we had to carry for the last two years has shrunk to about $1,000 since the first quarter.

After 20 years in AA, I joined SA in 1997. Because I was knowledgeable about the Twelve Step program, I thought this would be easy. I just needed to admit I was powerless over lust and that my life was unmanageable. All would be well. I was totally wrong.

Step Six requires quiet contemplation of the work we have done. There are several questions on pages 75 & 76 of the Big Book. These are not rhetorical questions! The foundation is complete willingness. The cement is our common solution. The cornerstone is coming to believe in a Power greater than ourselves. The keystone is Step Three.

New Format for an SA Meeting
Good evening. My name is _______________, and I am a recovering sexaholic. Welcome to this meeting of Sexaholics Anonymous.

This opening phrase of our version of the St. Francis prayer offers me a degree of comfort and hope unlike any other prayer. Whether sitting in my chair for morning meditation or out walking the dog, those words begin by centering me on “Lord” rather than “me.” For this addict, that’s the best possible first step toward serenity.

I identified with this expression the first time I heard it. How often had I worked myself into a lather of rage because people weren’t doing things MY way? How often had I sunk into despair because I was sure life was not working out well? The answer to each question was, “Every day!”

I just hit nine months of sobriety. I knew it was getting close, but I didn’t expect it quite this soon. This got me thinking: what good is counting anyway? I once had sixteen months, and it vanished overnight. I actually have only 24 hours—since yesterday. Tomorrow, it could be gone in a few minutes.

Each morning I try to start my day on the right path. I read from “Answers in the Heart,” meditate, and pray to my Higher Power. I pray for my family, for the other addicts in the world and for serenity, courage, strength, and willingness for myself. I look out the window to try to connect with the world of which I am a part.

All my life, all I wanted was to fit in, to be accepted, and to feel okay about myself. I grew up in a family of multiple addictions, and I was a loner. From very early on I hated myself. I felt trapped, always wishing and waiting to grow up so I could do what I wanted to and have the freedom to get away from it all.

Many of you already know that I have been locked up in Texas for the last 23 years. I was well over 50 years old before I even knew what it was to be someone’s friend. If I was not trying to drag you off to bed, I did not have the time of day for you. Now that is really sad, but it was also very true!

Election of Trustee: Jenny M. elected for a four-year term.
There are still vacancies for both sexaholic and non-sexaholic Trustees. A sexaholic Trustee must have five years of SA sobriety. Trustee candidates need to submit a service resume and a letter of recommendation from their Intergroup to SAICO.

If you are in a painful and seemingly endless cycle of relapse, unable to scrape together a few weeks or just a few days of sobriety AND you are willing to do whatever it takes, then read on.

1. We admitted that we were powerless over whatever it was and that our lives had become confused.

I can’t see my self-centered fear. What others recognize as my obvious self-centeredness, to me is just the “real world,” or the “facts” of my life.

For over thirty years, I was convinced I knew how to put first things first. I had my personal priorities, which usually involved me getting attention or getting ahead in some way. I knew that pleasing other people increased the odds that I would get what I wanted.

This topic really challenged me. I have heard people say that one of the things I have to do in this program is change everything about myself. Well, I have changed many things. I have walked through changes with my heart pounding, knees shaking, and feeling physically sick.

Outside my sixth floor motel room at the San Diego Convention, I can look out the glass door to see and “hear” my palm tree—my temporary sponsor during this Convention. The branches explode outside my room, atop 50 feet of straight, strong, and branchless trunk. The palm tree stands tall and carries a program message to all who are prepared to hear.

I am a grateful recovering sexaholic and an orthodox Jew. I have been obsessed with sex and lust almost as long as I can remember. I can recall at age twelve, sitting in the bathroom in Israel, playing with myself. By age thirteen, I was masturbating compulsively.

In September, three members of the Correctional Facilities Team of our Inter-group completed training to become One-on-One mentors in the County Detention center. Our Team has made two unsuccessful efforts to enter other county jails here in our area. Now, we have been given the opportunity to Twelfth Step some of the prisoners.

My name is Brad and I’m an addict. A SAD addict. That’s not the state of my condition; it’s the state of my life. SAD stands for Sex, Alcohol and Drugs. These aren’t the only addictions I have.