When I began my sobriety in recovery in SA over three years ago, I listened to the Tenth Step as it was read at every meeting. At that time all I could hear was the reflection of my guilt, my shame and my pain. I thought that this Step meant that I would have to quickly proclaim to everyone all the screw-ups that I make in my life. I had enough difficulty revealing my past screw-ups!

Once more it is time for the semi-annual SA/S-Anon International Conference. This July it will be held in Nashville, Tennessee on the 9th, 10th and 11th. Our theme will be “Tools of Recovery.” On behalf of SA and S-Anon here in the Music City, I cordially extend an invitation for three days of growth, fellowship and fun.

After a misunderstanding here in Quebec City, the definition of abstinence is now being transmitted more clearly and it makes me feel very good. I feel safe in SA. It is the real SA, just the way I need it. After a slip last September, I now have complete abstinence. Abstinence has prevented me from doing things and entering relationships that would have brought me a lot of pain, like in the past.

It is with true gratitude that I take this opportunity to let you know that our group is growing in real sobriety with a third member having one year of sobriety. Right now we average around fifteen members per meeting on Sunday night and it is common to see two to three months in length of sobriety. Our group was founded on February 11, 1990.

In the September ’92 issue of Essay you reprinted a letter from the West L.A. Group that was not quite representative and was misleading in what we are doing. Many people read it to mean that we don’t support our intergroup. The fact is that we are the second biggest contributors in our region, even after we divide our second basket in half for our outreach program.

Truly we rely on God, working through our fellowship in our program. We take nothing and no one for granted. All is gift — and we thank the God of our understanding daily for keeping us alive, for our sobriety one day at a time, for enabling us to speak our minds honestly and with love. We realize we must be able to receive help as well as to help others.

A good response was noted at the SA International Conference in New York to an appeal for volunteers to serve on service committees. The following is from a report of the conference business meeting, held on January 9, 1993:

Since the Vancouver International Conference the COOC has met about every six weeks. Major issues have included the following: exploring areas of SA service such as translations of our literature and outreach to imprisoned or isolated SAs; organizing a special meeting at the next conference to encourage such service opportunities; utilizing our COOC replacement process following the resignation of Harry B. from the Northwest region; maintaining our literature stocks and considering handling audio tapes of talks and conferences; and assisting the Long Island SA Conference in publicizing the conference.

Facing the Slipper Syndrome
1. It is important to recognize that the real problem is lust, not sex, and thus acknowledge that the problem is spiritual in nature.

The wording of the Third Tradition in SA is different than in most other Twelve Step programs. The Third Tradition in AA is: “The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.” In SA, however, the Third Tradition is: “The only requirement for SA membership is a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober.” I believe SA’s formulation of the Third Tradition involves a two-part membership requirement — a desire to stop lusting and a desire to become sexually sober — and that both parts are equally important to the spiritual health of the fellowship and the quality of meetings.

Earlier this month our local area intergroup held its annual one-day marathon, an all-day series of break-outs, speaker meetings and fellowship for our region. The theme of the Marathon was “Came to Believe.” There was powerful sharing by members on the role of faith, in helping to face overwhelming and sobriety-threatening circumstances and emerge with recovery.

This proposal calls for SA meetings where we can relax the rule against crosstalk and allow feedback. Members could invite some SA friends together and outline a problem they are having — how to make a difficult amends, for instance, or what to tell the children — and ask for feedback.

The A Team concept is an idea we have put to use a few times to help some fellow suffering sexaholics. Until now each case has involved someone struggling to get started with sobriety, but it could conceivably be used for other purposes, such as a crisis in someone’s life. It is really a simple application of Step Twelve in which we join forces with others to help the sexaholic who still suffers.

I wish to extend my appreciation for the book that you sent to me. The information that I have gotten from the book has shown me that your program would be a big plus in my future. I will notify you upon my release.

I attended our SA Family Reunion retreat in Wichita last weekend, and it was a wonderful time of renewal and seeing dear friends in SA again. I want to remain an SA contact for SE Kansas. I want very much to get a group going in this area again.

Sobriety is critical for me in my recovery, and even though I attend some other 12-Step groups that deal with sex addiction, I find that without a bottom line definition of sobriety, it doesn’t work for me. It seems to promote a progressive denial of the addiction.

In October the Baltimore/Washington SA Intergroup held its 8th Annual SA/S-Anon Marathon. The location alternates each year between Baltimore and Washington, D.C. and this year’s Marathon was held in the Washington area. The theme this year was “Came to Believe.”

Our conference committee worked together as a team, with all of us considering that our meetings were as vital a part of our recovery as our regular weekly meetings. Over the past year the Vancouver group has grown considerably, to the point where in May and June we had seven birthday cakes for our members, four members with over two years sobriety, and very soon there may be two members with over three years sobriety.

Our New Beginners Meeting averages 45 each Monday night with five newcomers weekly. We are grateful to be part of this ever increasing fellowship which has given each of us “a new pair of glasses” to work through our share of problems by being rigorously honest.

I am so very, very grateful for SA. This program has changed my life for the better like no other psychology, therapy, or self-help ideas ever could. Not that there is necessarily anything wrong with these things, they just don’t work like SA does.