For my Step Three, my sponsor suggested that I answer a standard set of questions that we use in our local groups. The answers I found were illuminating for me, and I shared my Step Three with my SA group. The feedback I got from the group was positive—several members even encouraged me to submit my Step to ESSAY!

I’m Steve, a recovering sexaholic, sober since December 14, 2002. I am living a much better life today, thanks to SA and the Twelve Step program of recovery.

The AA Big Book contains a number of gripping phrases or metaphors. In describing the panic felt by anyone who has hit rock bottom, Bill W. wrote: “We, in our turn, sought the same escape with all the desperation of drowning men. What seemed at first a flimsy reed, has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God” (AA 28).

I’m certain that I’ve experienced miracles from God throughout my recovery. I’m also certain that I’m blind to most of His handiwork. So the times when I can emphatically state “That was a God thing” are very special to me. One such time occurred at my first SA International Convention.

“I’m in a serious, monogamous relationship. I love him, and I’m certain that we’re going to get married. Why doesn’t SA support sex in this type of committed relationship? I’m able to stay present during sex, and it’s about connection, not escape. I don’t have religious convictions about waiting until marriage.

As I travel to many states and countries sharing my recovery message, I’m often asked the same question: “When and how should I tell the people closest to me that I’m a member of SA?” While each situation is different, I try to pass on general principles.

On a beautiful spring night in 2009, I was driving to a funeral home south of the city, listening to an old cassette tape, a gift from Art L. “My buddy… my buddy, “he crooned. “Your buddy… misses you!” The familiar gruff voice with its approximate pitching brought back a flood of memories. I wondered what had happened to my friend.

At their July meeting, the GDA suggested that SA members who travel consider carrying SA literature to areas in need of it, since mailing costs for literature can be prohibitive. So on a recent trip to Asia, I carried in my luggage $225 worth of literature (White Books, Step into Action 1-12, Recovery Continues, back issues of ESSAY, and SA Pocket Guides) to the Manila SA group, as well as to a member trying to start a group in Delhi, India.

I’m Robert, a grateful sexaholic. By the grace of God and the miracle of the SA program of recovery, I have not had to act out since October 10, 2010. I recently celebrated my second SA birthday, as well as the removal of my ankle bracelet. After three and a half years in prison and four years on parole, I am again a free man.

Dear SA Fellowship:
For years, our fellowship was struggling to balance the budget, and we relied on the Quarterly Appeal to build our prudent reserve. Since then, our members have stepped forward to build a strong financial base. Recently however we have seen a slight softening of member contributions to SAICO, reflecting a shift toward addressing local service needs during these hard times.

Dear Fellow SA Members:
The General Delegate Assembly met on Thursday and Friday, July 26-27, prior to the July convention. Attendees included Delegates, Alternates, Trustees, Trustee nominees, representatives from SAICO, and observers.

I recently returned from the Nashville convention, where the speakers were hugely nourishing to my recovery. By God’s grace, I’ve been able to attend 25 SA International conventions. I’ve faithfully attended two conventions each year—because I need them!

Working the Steps in SA was a progressive journey of discovery for me. I found that I had played a part in causing my pain, and had inflicted it on others. After making restitution and amends to the best of my ability, the next task at hand was to begin paying attention to the present moment.

Being the perfectionist that I am, I believed for a long time that I had to work the Steps very hard before I could start being joyous. But today, with over 10 years of sobriety, I’ve learned from observing others in recovery that it is possible to find joy on the first day in this program.

I began my recovery from sexual addiction three years ago by joining an online sexual addiction forum. That forum helped, but for me it wasn’t enough. Then I joined a Twelve Step phone conference offered through the forum. That helped more, but twice I relapsed after a seven-month clean streak.

I recently heard a member share in a meeting that he thought SA is not a friendly place for singles because our Sobriety Definition does not allow them to have sex. He questioned how he could be expected to stay abstinent for the rest of his life with that definition. When I heard this I laughed; maybe because I’ve had the same thought at times.

Two years ago, I was halfway through graduate school and living in Nashville. I thought I was doing pretty well for myself—until I sat down with my girlfriend in a student counseling session and explained my acting-out behaviors.

My story is similar to many I’ve heard—riddled with pornography, masturbation, and a multitude of sexual encounters. For most of my life, I didn’t even think that the things I was doing were wrong. Only when I wanted to stop and could not did I start the downward spiral into despair that brought me through the doors of SA.

Dear SA Fellowship,
As I celebrate three years of sobriety, I want to thank the SA fellowship for being such a large part of my life. The years I spent running around like a fool in your rooms were the best of my life. I greatly miss our regular fellowship, but I am so very grateful to still be connected with you in the way that I am.

I’m bored. That’s a dangerous place for me to be, because one of my stronger lust triggers is boredom. I’m locked in my cell, waiting to be called to an appointment. I walk back and forth—window, door, window, door—with the occasional stop at the cupboard to see if I’ve overlooked some food item. Food can be a medication to relieve my boredom, just as lust can.