“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear…”
Over the past six years, my membership in SA has led me to learn many things about life, how to relate to people, how to love, how to share and care.

I have a problem regarding what is my job and what is someone else’s in a relationship. I am a champion fixer. Recently I realized there are situations I cannot fix: the sponsee who is facing jail time. I didn’t cause it, can’t control it, and can’t cure it.

SA’s sobriety definition says “for the single sexaholic, sexual sobriety means freedom from sex of any kind.” It does not say that we endure the endless torture of chastity.

After my disclosure in 1988, my wife told me to get help or get out. I met with my pastor, went on a retreat, and started seeing a counselor who sent me to SA. I joined. Then my wife told our children that she was asking me to move out.

My fears cause me to make things bigger
Than they are

My Dear Friend Lust:
I am writing to you to finalize our relationship.

This is hard to explain unless you’ve experienced it. I don’t use willpower to fight my addiction anymore. I know the addiction is more powerful than I am, and I’ve declared it to be the winner. I still have to make the decision to not engage in lust, but I no longer fight it like I used to do.

A member wrote, “I’m looking for a miracle. I’ve been looking for a miracle for a long time. Recently I’ve thought that if I just work the Steps, I could then have the miracle I’ve been looking for.” Wow! This statement hit me pretty hard, because it reminded me so much of my own Step Two (which took something like five years for me to fully accomplish).

I recently heard a member express discouragement at reduced attendance, revolving-door membership, and a general lack of sobriety in the meetings he attends.

I’d like to thank a friend in the program who phoned me tonight, and I’d like to thank God for bringing our lives together. My friend and I have always connected by sharing who we are with each other; not who we should be, but who God created us to be.

The Rochester group would like to share our recent success following the adoption of a new Twelve Step group study format.

Serenity is something I never thought of until I got into the SA program. In retrospect, I see that I was trying to control my world. Whether it was work, relationships, school, or family I was always trying to make things go my way.

My cell phone alarm alerts me daily at 12:12 noontime so that wherever I am, whatever I am doing, I can stop and thank God (my Higher Power) for the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions and for the gift of sobriety.

In college, I took a weightlifting class. I spent a great deal of time reading the textbook and understanding the techniques, but for some reason, I never got much bigger. Duh! You can’t gain muscle mass by reading a book on weightlifting.

Little did I know

A newcomer recently asked how long withdrawal from lust could possibly last, and I want to share my personal experience, strength, and hope on that topic from my current vantage point of one year sober.

Last Tuesday, my dad passed away. Sigh.

How did I—a nice, self-respecting recovering alcoholic with more than 14 years of sobriety—find myself sitting in a meeting with a bunch of lowly sexaholics? After all, I had worked the Steps many times. I sponsored several men. I had never lied to my AA sponsors.

I am writing to suggest that financial and moral support for SA International Central Office is a vital part of our Twelfth Step work. Our groups are spiritual entities carrying a spiritual message. We may for that reason have trouble supporting Central Office unless we see how the duties of our Central Office are also spiritually based and a necessary part of carrying the message.

My sobriety date is January 1, 1991. The longer I am sober, the more I need a meeting because I am close to a relapse. Why, you may ask? Well, there are a lot of new people, but not a lot of people with long-term recovery. That tells me that I am closer than ever to relapse. What I have been doing has been working for me, so I keep doing it.